FEBRUARY 10, 2011 / THE SOURCE WEEKLY / 31 GAME ON


BETA


Last Week’s Top


Selling Games


1. X360 Dead Space 2, 249,489 2. PS3 Dead Space 2, 182,319 3. X360 Kinect Adventures! 138,907 4. PS3 LittleBigPlanet 2, 118,107 5. Wii Wii Sports, 111,672 6. X360 Two Worlds II, 98,416 7. Wii Wii Sports Resort, 82,655 8. PS3 Two Worlds II, 66,624 9. Wii Just Dance 2, 65,079 10. X360 Call of Duty: Black Ops, 62,062


YOU WOULDN’T EXPECT SUCH A THING IN A SPLATTERHOUSE, NOW WOULD YOU? Cheesy Gore


Splatterhouse misses the horror game mark BY MARTY DEMAREST


Videogames have done well with the


Orpheus myth. Mario descended into the fiery underworld of Bowser's castle to res- cue his beloved princess. I fondly recall ex- ploring lava-laced caverns in pursuit of my pet frog in Master Blaster. A few years ago, I chased my girlfriend into Viewtiful Joe and more recently I pursued her through Dante's Inferno. This time I've followed her into a bloody underworld known as Splatterhouse. Splatterhouse shares its name and inspi-


ration with an old arcade game that was famous for offending parents with its gory imagery. Rick, the game's hero, put on an evil mask that transformed him into an avenging monster—sort of a sinister version of that old Jim Carrey movie The Mask—and set him loose in Splatterhouse's haunted house. Despite the game's title, the house in Splatterhouse isn't a coherent dwelling as


much as it is a collection of various-shaped arenas that look like redecorated leftovers from the God of War games. Certainly Splatterhouse has its fair share of cobwebs and creaky corridors, and it features more gore and gushing red pixels than any other


have applied gloss where it should have been gross.


The designers of Splatterhouse


game in recent memory. But the comic- book-style graphics and flat colors are in direct contrast with the game's gooey, vis- ceral action. The designers of Splatterhouse have applied gloss where it should have been gross.


Instead of looking like genetic mutations


or hellish manifestations, the monsters look like they were concocted by computer hard drives, with mismatched heads clicked onto bodies with mismatched arms. I suppose for some people these demonic Mr. Potato Heads pass for horrific. They might have been frightening if they had a chance to actually harm a character I cared about, but I'm unable to build Rick into any sort of sympathetic avatar. The best I can do is learn to control his arsenal of attacks. But even the game's third-person perspec-


tive action is piecemeal. Most of the fighting takes place in an indistinct swirl of enemies, but there is also always a chance that the game will switch to a slow-motion gory at- tack that requires me to swerve my thumb- sticks in specific directions. The results are scenes in which I pry a demon's head off its neck, or lever open a monster's mouth until


its head splits open. This should be the high- light in a game called Splatterhouse, but in- stead it feels like a slow-paced interruption in the midst of the confusion. Orpheus, as one of the world's greatest


musicians, at least had his own talents to accompany him on his journey through the underworld. Poor Rick only has the likes of Mastodon and Lamb of God, who have con- tributed a metal soundtrack to Splatterhouse that is as monotonous and uninspired as the game itself. For all of its gore, Splatterhouse is a bit of a grind.


THE GOOD: As cheesy as it is,


Splatterhouse still does a better haunted house than the recent 3D Castlevania: Lords of Shadow.


THE BAD: I spent more time watching


the game's loading screen, featuring mon- sters that look like shiny toys made by Todd McFarlane's less scrupulous imitators, than I did actually battling those monsters in the game itself.


THE BOTTOM LINE: Splatterhouse is a mess.


Splatterhouse ★★✩✩✩


Rated Mature; PlayStation 3, Xbox 360


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