screen


FEBRUARY 10, 2011 / THE SOURCE WEEKLY / 25


navigate a treacherous labyrinth to find a new escape route or die in the process. Sounds promising, right? What could have


TOO BAD WE DIDN’T HAVE A “HOTTEST CAVER” CATEGORY ON THE LUST LIST. FILM Throw This Gaping


Sanctum creates its own watery grave BY MORGAN P. SALVO


Here are two marketing ploys that are re-


ally not working for me anymore: “Based on true facts” and “shot in real 3D.” I figured that James Cameron’s role as producer and the 3D cinema magic would all but force Sanctum to deliver. It doesn’t. I know I’m not known for being lavish with my praise, but this truly is one of the worst movies I have


FILM Some Kind of Crazy


Predictable plot and cheesy clichés hinder The Roommate BY ANNE PICK


When viewers first see the trailer or hear


the plot for The Roommate, the new psycho- logical thriller starring Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly, the first thing to come to mind is the 1992 film Single White Female. The films feature similar plots, leading some to wonder if The Roommate is actually a re- make of Single White Female. But no, it’s not… but it probably would have been better if it actually was a rehash. When Sarah (Kelly) starts her fresh-


man year at the fictional University of Los Angeles, she’s assigned Rebecca (Meester) as a roommate. The two become fast friends, going to gallery openings together and even bringing in a stray cat named Cuddles to join them in their dorm room. Little does Sarah know, Rebecca tends to lean toward the ob- sessive, psychotic side and by the end of the first semester Sarah will be begging for a nor- mal roomie with faults like forgetting to take out the trash. When it comes to “disappearing” animals, erasing ex-boyfriends’ phone messages and


general obsessive creepiness, The Roommate falls in line with the long list of psychological thrillers like Single White Female. Where the two films vary is in the back-story of the psy- chos – the difference being in Single White Female, Hedra actually had a past. Redundant thriller clichés aside, The Roommate’s biggest problem comes from a lack of motivation and reasoning for Rebecca’s psychotic behavior. Yes, there’s mention of a “friend” who she had become obsessed with before, but there’s no reasoning to explain her behavior. Rebecca’s parents are afraid of her, but why? At least in Single White Female, Hedra experienced a tragedy earlier in life, which prompted her strange behavior. It seems Meester’s biggest roles during


her burgeoning Hollywood career all have found her playing neurotic weirdos, all of whom have crazy tendencies. Most recently, Country Strong found Meester playing a former beauty queen turned country singer who would do anything to make it big, even though she feared singing in front of an audi-


ever seen. The waterlogged story involves an un-


derwater cave-diving team on an expedi- tion to explore New Guinea's Esa-ala Cave, one of the least-accessible cave systems in the world. When a flash flood cuts off their exit, the team is caught in a life-or-death situa- tion. With supplies dwindling, the divers must


Hole a Lifeline Drowning in stupidity,


been a nice harrowing survival tale instead give us yet another father-son reconciliation account through cathartic events, but it’s all done poorly. Setting us up with transparen- cies like: Will the boy-man and gruff-strict dad reconcile their differences? Will their survival tactics intertwine? Will they find out something they never knew about each other and themselves? Will it dig as deep as the cave they so expertly plunder through? Will the duo bond like no other has before them? Will there be painful decisions made? Will domestic squabbles take on the mentality of the father-son Oedipal complex? Gimme a break. From the first line of dialogue, Sanctum


feels forced and phony. The screenplay seems like it was taken from a joke book of clichés and the acting is atrocious through- out. This wannabe action yarn comes off like a lame version of The Descent, but without the cool monsters. Carl Ioan Gruffudd (Reed Richards in The


Fantastic Four) annoys us instantly with his take on his role, exposing a fake personality that only lame actors can convey. Richard Roxburgh (Moulin Rouge) as Frank has the juiciest role, but has no original lines. Dan Wyllie’s George has a moment or two, climber Victoria (Alice Parkinson) is all wisecrack and worry (never a good combo) and Rhys Wakefield’s estranged 17-year-old son, Josh, is all crybaby with unbelievable mood swings. Wretched dialogue is inserted to invent


drama to establish a “story” that went on behind cave doors, relying heavily on all the


conventions of unoriginal, over-used catch phrases stolen from countless other bad movies. If divers and underwater explorers turned first-time writers Andrew Wight and John Garvin are going to call it “based on true facts,” then they owe it to us to make up something good and not this terribly generic. Sanctum’s 3D tries its hardest to enthrall,


Sanctum ✩✩✩✩


Starring Richard Roxburgh, Rhys Wakefield, Carl Gruffudd, Alice Parkinson, Dan Wyllie


Directed by Alister Grierson Rated R


as the camera and characters squiggle through tiny tunnels, but there was no need for 3D effects – we’re right there with them without having to see pockmarked rocks in the foreground. We’re constantly barraged with sweeping, emotional music to invoke the bosom to swell. Director


Alister


Grierson was obviously under Producer Cameron’s


thumb trying to invoke an Abbyss feel, but came off more like Cameron’s Piranha Part Two: The Spawning without the demon fish or any imaginative ideas. Everything is so beyond predictable that this movie could make one feel downright clairvoyant. When Frank teaches Josh Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s Kubla Khan poem, it just about threw me out of the theater. My feet were poised to bolt. Believe me, if this one doesn’t make number one on my worst top-ten list next year, it will be a miracle. Just recently, a more effective survival


movie came out (127 hrs) and one guy and a rock were more intense and entertaining than this entire expedition and a cave. Sanctum’s litany of bad calls is endless. Let’s just call it a fiasco and be done with it —I’d rather watch my crunchy cereal flakes get soggy than watch this watered-down disas- ter. I came out of the theater gasping for fresh air after being submerged in this atroc- ity for an hour and 43 minutes.


SAY “CRAZY” ON THREE.


ence at first. In her most famous role as Blair Waldorf on TV’s Gossip Girl, she has her mo- ments of pure evil as the privileged Upper East sider, while still maintaining human emotions. Now as Rebecca, Meester takes neurotic, evil and crazy to another level. It will be interesting to see if there are more roles like this in her future. I imagine that one day The Roommate will


run during ridiculous Lifetime movie mara- thons; it had that kind of vibe. The film didn’t prove to be much of a thriller at all as the


corny clichés and lack of back-story hurt the film. It would be hard to even categorize the film as a psychological thriller. Perhaps “pre- dictable thriller” would be a more apt classi- fication.


The Roommate ★★✩✩✩


Starring Leighton Meester, Minka Kelly Directed by Christian E. Christansen Rated R


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