ALTERNATIVE FAMILIES GAYBIES, QUEERSPAWN, OH MY!
average. In fact, the American Psychological Association reports that some studies have indicated that same-sex parents may be “superior” to other parents on average. This may simply be due to the fact, that the number of accidental pregnancies among LGBT couples is almost unheard of. Conversely, an unplanned pregnancy can put a great deal of psychological, professional and finan- cial stress on a heterosexual couple and their family. One of the mistakes made when opponents rail against queer families is that they lump them together as if they are all the same, but as with straight families, there are many different types. There are single parents, divorced parents, adoptive parents, step-parents, par- ents from different ethnic backgrounds, and widowed parents, just as there are in straight families. Queer parents also face the same struggles straight parents do: making ends meet, getting kids to soccer practice, making sure they do their homework, meeting with teachers, changing diapers and wiping noses. That’s isn’t to say that children of queer parents don’t face some specific challenges. They invariably do, but
Abigail Garner, author of the book Families Like Mine, says, “the challenges faced by the children aren’t caused by their family dynamic, but rather it is a result of the hateful vitriol spewed by the right.” Garner continues with, “The struggles that typically come from having a LGBT parent are not because the parents are LGBT, but because the children hear messages everyday that people question the validity of their families. This is understandably wearing and frustrating, but it is not the result of parents being LGBT. It is the result of living in a homophobic society.” This is backed up by the American Academy of Child
and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP). This organization has said that while children of gay and lesbian parents are as well-adjusted as others, they often deal with discrimination from their communities and also with teasing and bullying from their peers. The AACAP says that this can largely be mitigated, if the parents maintain a healthy open dialogue with their children and prepare them in advance for questions they are likely to encoun- ter from friends, other parents and teachers.
Camillo Ortiz was raised by two mothers and he
describes himself as queerspawn, a term used by many children of LGBT parents. At an early age, his moms helped him to realize that there were many different types of families, mothers and fathers, moms and moms or dads and dads, single mothers, single dads, etc. Ortiz says that both his mothers helped him prepare for the inevitable questions he would face at school, “I was ex- posed to a variety of different family styles. For example, my mothers would always include our friends as family members, extending my understanding of the relation- ships that existed and the importance feelings played in the sustaining of such relationships. Vocabulary isn’t a strong suit at such a young age, but even so, I was able to interpret and understand the meaning of family based on something that was felt, so for my mothers and I, it was usually based on feelings that made us laugh, cry,and enjoy; it was a feeling of love. So going to school and talking about my family, wasn’t so much about how many parents I had or what sexual orientation they were, but what I felt when we were together.”
APRIL 2011 | RAGE monthly 53
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