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by Matt Simpson Siegel |

Peaches ‘n Cream is a buttermilk dream with whipped cream and peaches; Chocolate Chip Cakes—chocolate batter topped with chocolate chips—a diabetic’s suicide solution. Breakfast Standouts: Egg Sandwich composed of your choice bagel, croissant or English muffin, packed with Canadian bacon or American bacon, scrambled eggs and cheese with hash browns.

C CHERIE INN’S Sausage Egg Scramble


Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all know breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It’s also the most commonly skipped. If you suffer from low levels of energy, short attention span, mild depression, fail miserably under pressure or have behavioral rage issues that cause you to scream uncontrol- lably at people, you might want to add a little food to your morning routine. Get up, brush your teeth (I’m assuming you do) and drop by one of these breakfast bastions for a quick day-saving, mind-altering meal—it could change your life.


FAT BOY BURGERS (2450 Plainfield Ave. NE, Grand Rapids) became “born again”’ two years ago this past February due to the scrupulous Matt and Jill Urbane. Longtime grease-ball burger Mecca, this place has become the breakfast haven of Grand Rapids. Scratch-cooked breakfasts are a staple here compared to years past; though I feel the burgers may have lost a half of a dram of magic, the traditional breakfasts are what make the family Urbane the redemptive darlings they are. This is diner fare at its best and the coffee is refilled to the brim before you’re able to chug it down. Breakfast

standouts: Fat Boy Breakfast consisting of two eggs, bacon, sausage, toast and hash browns; Kitchen Sink Omelette smothered in gravy and cheese, stuffed with bacon, sausage, green peppers, onions and mushrooms. So filling, you probably won’t have room for the hash browns.

We all love a dependable greasy-spoon chain for breakfast at 5:30 a.m., and the current title holder for such a spot has to be NEW BEGINNINGS RESTAURANTS with more than 10 locations throughout West Michigan (I believe they multiply like mogwai). Eggs, sausage, buttery toast burnt to perfection; you name it, you can eat it. Breakfast standouts: Biscuits and Sausage Gravy with Potatoes is as simple as it sounds and just as fulfilling; Au Natural Columbian Omellete of mushrooms, onions, green peppers and celery; San Francisco French Toast with Hot Syrup and a side of bacon or sausage.

For the late-to-rise or overworked-and-starving third-shifter, LOUIE’S TROPHY HOUSE GRILL (440 E. North St.) opens at 11 a.m. Monday through Friday and 12 on Saturdays. It also happens to be the oldest bar in Kalamazoo, open since 1918. Nothing says “G’mornin’” more than a big ol’ stuffed bear reaching out to shake your paw at the door and the Garbage Trophy Burger—a grilled beef burger saddled to two pieces of Texas toast and weighed down by bacon, American and Swiss cheeses, a resplendent olive sauce, onion, lettuce, tomato and pickle. A side of Bloody Mary (or whatever hair of the dog you prefer) will augment any morning hangover. And no, you aren’t hallucinating, that is a bobcat above the bar. Other Breakfast Standouts: scratch-made Potato Skins in cheesy bacon and chives; Po’ Boy of breaded cod sautéed in white wine, lemon and butter, served on a fresh baked bun with lettuce, toms, pickle and the house tartar sauce.

See more in our dining section on page 59!

CHERIE INN (969 Cherry St. SE, Grand Rapids) has homemade granola. ‘Tais-toi!’ you think. Well, mon ami, you are icompetent. This underrated breakfast staple has a certain je ne sais quoi here. The East Hills is a subtle cup of the homemade granola with toast, and, if you can, lobby for a side of strawberries and whipped cream. Hungrier? The Ham, Artichoke, and Brie Cheese Omelette will cause a frisson in your stomach’s soul. Breakfast Standouts: Portabella Herb Omelette sautéed fungi in swiss with thyme and scallions. Crab Cake Benedict: blue crab cake covered by two poached eggs, hollandaise, and a bell pepper garnish on an English muffin. n

OLONIAL KITCHEN PANCAKE HOUSE (330 N. Drake Rd., Kalamazoo or 7617 S. Westnedge Ave., Portage) has mastered breakfast. Here, the 8 oz. NY strip steak and eggs compete with the Country Fried Chicken for best, rib-sticking splendor. Griddle cakes are also consumed here at the same rate an Allegan meth-maker imbibes chemicals. Pancake standouts:


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