RESOURCES horoscopesby vera divine PISCES
February 20 – March 20 Insanity can be defined by applying the same old mascara and expecting completely different lashes every time. You can quote me on that! You can also take my word on the fact that you need to take a time-out at work to rethink what you are trying to pull off. You don’t need to sprain the old groin in order to get the juicy recognition you seek. Just take a different approach to your assignment. You never know, worldwide attention could even be smacked onto you by someone close. Just look at your fellow Pisces, Rihanna!
ARIES March 21 – April 20 You’re not known to second-guess your bold steps, are
you? Hey, don’t sweat it, intrepidity is one of the qualities that makes you so magnetic! For the first few weeks of the month though, you must become fast friends with re- straint. Circumstances could cause your nerve to provoke a whole lot of Aries-entment! Keep cool and focus on those great organization skills to pull you through these tricky times. By all means, learn to keep the sailor-mouth in check!
TAURUS April 21 – May 21 If money is the root of all evil, Prada’s new Nappa
Leather Shopping Tote must be the flower that springs from the vine! Unfortunately, such extravagances are of- ten the first material casualties in tough times like these. You lavish Taureans know my pain. Try not to get carried away with expenses right now. One thing that works for me when I absolutely MUST get a mall fix: bring along someone who’s naturally frugal. I know, it’s basically the shopping equivalent of a cock block, but come month’s end, you may have a few unclaimed bucks left over.
GEMINI May 22 – June 21 Principles are funny things, Gemini. It’s important
that you stand up for them in the first week of this scary month. You might feel it’s not your place to be the snag in the development process, but there is a war to be won and if you stay firm it will boost your confidence like no bottle of absinthe ever could. Romance looks more likely now that you have learned the value of patience. Now hurry up and settle down already! Just kidding, I’m not your mother!
CANCER June 22 – July 23 When people say “one step forward and two steps
back,” they’re not describing that tacky dance move you’ve been trying out lately. They’re making reference to your life! It’s very important that you don’t lose all the personal progress that you have already made this year.
As lethargic as you may feel, try not to mimic Britney’s latest choreographic style. A hot, romantic evening with that cutie who won’t leave you alone might give you the necessary boost to keep on pushing, just remember to push it good!
LEO July 24 – August 23 Watch your step, luscious Leo. There’s the distinct pos-
sibility that you’ll make a mountain out of a molehill, as gross as that sounds. This month, you need to find some perspective. As luck would have it, a close older “friend” could help you do just that. Whether your fancy leads you down Daddy Alley or Cougar Lane, you’ll see your confidence reach new heights…among other things.
VIRGO August 24 – September 23 At times, it may seem like your Virgo neuroses and
need for order are driving others away. For someone who dislikes disharmony of any kind, you sure do manage to create your share of chaos! Don’t worry, my queen of clut- ter, this month you can look forward to a relaxing break from it all. The only catch: you have to resist snapping back into old habits. Just save as much energy as possible because toward the end of the month, your talent as social lubricator (mediator) will be sorely needed. Just don’t go overboard! I know…for you, that’s asking a lot.
LIBRA September 24 – October 23 Lucky Libra! Your professional duties will be a carefree
breeze at the start of this month. Enjoy that while it lasts! Just around the corner awaits a complication of variable intensity. Depending on your preparedness, it could either ruffle your feathered boa or simply make you roll your eyes in nonchalance. Either way, don’t get too comfortable with a frown on your face. You’ll need more plastic surgery than even your rich friend Barbara Walters can afford!
SCORPIO October 24 – November 22 The energy builds, your muscles tighten, your juices
flow. You gasp as things heat up and you can barely man- age to keep going without collapsing onto those under you. You huff, you puff, and then…Nothing. Yeah, that’s right. There seems to be no payoff to your toil and tor- ment, and this will no doubt aggravate you to no end through the first two weeks, but when find yourself ready to snap, remember what delayed gratification can offer... and for Gaga’s sake, get your mind out of the gutter!
SAGITTARIUS November 23 – December 22 Wake up! Ready those hooves for a tender little trot!
This month will provide a great opportunity for a roman- tic experiment, but only if you check the attitude at the door and give that special someone a fighting chance! Be generous with your time and attention in matters like this, but ration them out in other areas like work. The walls won’t crumble while you’re away…unless you’re a carpenter. Remember what Britney Spears said? “A guy like you should wear a warning!”
CAPRICORN December 23 – January 20 Complexity may be admirable to an outsider you’re
trying to impress, but keep it up, and your smoke-and- mirrors show will come tumbling down before your final act! Old habits seem to be ruling in your life right now and a relationship of yours might be undergoing tension from an unseen misunderstanding. Try to keep all your options simple and well within view. If you’re not sure where to place priority, rely on the words of a trusted old friend.
AQUARIUS January 21 – February 19 Slow down, take inventory of your resources and
rethink your situation. It may seem as though you’re floating confidently, but a slight miscalculation might be fueling your descent into the stagnant depths. For- tunately, only a quick examination is needed to identify the snag—plus, that extra padding you gained over the holidays will keep you nice and buoyant! Stay on the lookout for a loved one who needs some direction with
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RAGE monthly | MARCH 2011
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