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Is 4-yr old you still running your life?

by Jaqui Crooks EFT Master I

wonder if you realise just how much early family limiting beliefs affect your life right now.

How would you feel if you realised that you were running your life and your business from the perspective of a 4 year old. And yet that’s what we do. Years ago I was working on a stuck situa- tion with a colleague and I was taken back to the time when my dad who I loved dearly, made a re- mark. I now know as an adult, that it was a throwa- way remark. I’m sure if he’d been challenged about it then, he would have changed it. Yet 50 years later I was still running my world as though it was true.

I remember looking at my colleague with a sense of disbelief and saying:

You mean that everybody doesn’t believe that? You mean I don’t have to believe it any more?

And suddenly it felt as though an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders and I felt freer than I had in years. Then I had to tap on feeling stupid for hold- ing to that belief for all those years!

It was a real turning point for me, both personally and as a practitioner. I came to recognise that when things aren’t working in the here and now, there’s likely to be a childhood belief behind it. Those beliefs come from everywhere. From our parents, our friends, schools, relationships, work and also from the meanings that we make from the happenings and remarks of our childhood.

How much of the view you have of yourself has been created from things that have been said to you? Things like, you always struggle, but you get there in the end. It’s designed to make us feel ok about struggling and to praise our persistence, and yet it gives the message that we have to struggle to achieve anything and then of course that’s exactly what we do.


Somebody called me butterfingers when I dropped a ball when I was young and it became a family joke, with the result that I had to drop the ball in order to fit in with the family beliefs of who I am. Where do you do that? How do you limit yourself to fit in with the expectations that your family, friends, and partners have of you - or rather your expectations of their expectations! When you pause from your busy life to consider, you may notice places where you do that.

It can be very helpful to make a list of things people have said to you, including old family beliefs, such as money doesn’t grow on trees, and you can’t have everything you want. They limit you and the Law of Attraction says that you can only attract things that match your vibration, your beliefs. Can you see how those two statements could affect what you attract into your life?

It’s NEVER too late to make changes to your beliefs, in order to bring positive changes in your life.

One way, rather like the Personal Peace Procedure, is to write down all the sayings that you remember being used in your family and then all the remarks about you that still have an emotional charge when you think of them. Tap on one a day until they’re cleared and notice how your life changes right from the moment you start. You could also work with a practitioner who can help you to discover the ones that you don’t remember. It can be quicker and easier and most practitioners will work over the phone, so you can choose one you are comfort- able with.

Jaqui Crooks

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