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know that was really you, don’t you?) – you may find them much more compassionate, forgiving and understanding of themselves now – ready to continue tapping into something new. Also expect gushing tears at this point as they realize how hard they’d been on themselves.

For those not familiar with pro- vocative techniques: rapport and trust between client and practi- tioner is crucial or the technique could backfire and actually en- force the client’s desperation and shame spiral.


Most shame based people have lost their sense of innocence.

A quick intervention – mini-proc- ess, if you want – is to ask them to picture a baby … tap tap tap … ask them what they see … tap tap tap .. .ask them if they’re open to the possibility that all ba- bies are born in innocence…tap tap tap … if they are then point out that must be true for them too…tap tap tap… and continue with the rest of the session.

THE TREE METAPHOR Courtesy of Robert Smith (Faster

EFT) -ask someone to imagine a big tree. Ask them ‘What would happen to the tree if you pulled it

out by its roots?’ When they reply ‘It would die’ you just continue with the session as if that conversa- tion never happened, allowing the unconscious minds to make all the necessary connections with the story and mainly, that no matter how deeply rooted a problem is, when you pull it out by the roots it dies!


I sometimes ask clients to adopt the TAT pose and have a conver- sation with the part of them that feels ashamed (especially if there was a specific event that caused the shame) or with a perpetrator.

This often brings up a lot of emo- tion and healing as well as EFT aspects to tap on.


When the client articulates their shame as a particular limiting belief (or decision) like I am not good enough, I sometimes use a particular NLP & Hypnosis visuali- zation that allows them to

- visit the specific event where they took on this decision or belief (even if they don’t consciously know the contents of the event) to allow them to get the positive learnings from the event

- anchor those learnings

- go back to the time before they ever believed that thought

- splash forward in time the posi- tive learnings – through their past, into their present and into their future

- …whilst tapping all the time.

There’s a lot more to this tech- nique than these few paragraphs; I believe that NLP & Hypnosis training can help to make these types of processes more effective


(intellect, reason, objectivity) to help clients see that it is only in their best interest to forgive – others, God, the universe, themselves.

I often paraphrase Jack Kornfield’s defi- nition of forgiveness as finally giving up all hope for a better yesterday. I respect client’s unwillingness to forgive AND point out (with compassion, respect and patience) that it’s ok not to forgive as long as they realize that that’s the very thing that keeps them stuck. Some- times it also helps to point out (while tapping):

- The perpetrator is not even aware of them holding on to the (righteous) anger and blame.

- It’s hurting them more than anyone else (they’re the one carrying the re- sentment).

It does not in fact change the past nor does it prevent something like that hap- pening again.

It does not equate to ‘letting someone

off the hook’; we can still take appropri- ate action if required like reporting the matter to the authorities, drawing our boundaries or leaving a relationship.

and like everything else, they require practice practice practice!


Forgiveness does not necessarily fall in the magician quarter but I find that it sometimes require magician skills

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