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At The B.O.B. Grand Rapids, MI 616.356.2000


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West Michigan is full of funny. Don’t believe me? Check out my favorites. By Joe Gasmann


PRODUCER JOE’S LIST OF FUNNY


HOME OF AMWAY This is funny because we’re probably the only town in America that’s built on people’s broken dreams – and money.


CHAD DANIELS March 3 - 5


ORANGEVILLE The name makes you think of a small town where an apple pie can be found cooling on every windowsill, and the varsity football star’s date rape extravaganza is swept neatly under a rug. You know, a better, simpler time. Orangeville, in reality, is more of a gypsy- redneck settlement than a town. Its “residents” have been known to chase neighboring towns’ cross country runners off by throwing sticks and rocks at them. Its official word is “titties.” Its official flower is the Meth Beaker.


COMEDY FESTIVAL March 10 - 20


BIKE LANES As Grand Rapids expands, it’s only natural for it to take on a few of the traits of larger, more progressive cities, which means a wider variety of cool restaurants, more craft brews, and, thank God, bike lanes. I’d been waiting for a day to come where I might not have to endure some idiot yelling, “Faggot!” at me out of the window of their S10 pickup. Wait a second... did you guys notice that instead of actually having a designated lane to ride a bike in, someone just spray painted a bike on the pavement in the middle of the road? That doesn’t change a


PAT GODWIN March 24 - 26


thing! I can put my toothbrush in my butt all day,* but it doesn’t make it a dildo.


THE BLACK CASTLE The Black Castle on Eastern and some other poverty street looks exactly like the kind of place that would call itself the Black Castle, s****y. And what’s that you say? I can get my taxes done there and a burger that will make me s**t down my leg. I tried to call them to see if I could talk to one of the inventors of heaven on earth, but it seems, just like in heaven, there’s no telephone number listed. Well there is, but it belongs to a scammy-sounding car dealership.


THE 28TH STREET MEGA MALL It’s a lot like any other mall, but more mega... and the stores are separated by materials stolen from Haitian shanties. At first glance, it may seem unwelcoming. Once inside though, you realize that your feelings are valid; there’s no other place I’ve seen that makes it this conve- nient to purchase used tires, fake IDs, a Pit Bull, and a poster of Selena all at the same time. Have you ever wondered where that snazzy-looking migrant worker got his fancy pants? Wonder no more, the Mega Mall has the latest Tex-Mex fashions that are so popular in not this country. Once you’re done with your shopping, swing by the food court where they may have food.


*And I do.


CHARLIE MURPHY March 31 - April 2


THEGILMORECOLLECTION.COM 32 | REVUEWM.COM | MARCH 2011 PHOTO: DAVID CARSON


FUNNY ISSUE


THE


SCHEDULE | DINING | SIGHTS | SOUNDS SCENE


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