african trumpet edition 14_AFRITRUMPET NEW UK 1/27/2011 10:59 AM Page 10
10 Africantrumpet-The voice of Africans
Dear Wadenya MY PAST HAUNTS ME
drunken state called me all profanities and insulted my Family, and also mentioned my son. I was able to distract Dennis’s attention, although I believe that
he heard some of the things. He has never asked me about the incident and I have made certain that my cousin has not had any contact with him.
Two weeks ago, Dennis, asked me to accom- pany
I am 40s years old, and from an extremely materialistic family. My Mother coached us to date and associate exclusively with wealthy men, which included older and married men. I partied with politicians, attended exclusive events, and dated sugar Daddies. I got pregnant and could not identify the father of my child yet my mother saw this as an opportunity for me to land a rich husband, and asked me to hold onto the pregnan- cy .I approached several men who may have fathered my son, hoping that one person would accept paternity, but all of them denied me. Some refused to return my call and one threatened me with bodily harm and called me a slut. Angry, that I was forced to keep the child after our scheme backfired. I gave birth to a son whom I gave to
my family. They have lied to people that we adopted the boy from
the motherless Home. Our Friends are aware of the truth but have never dis- cussed it. I never bonded with the boy nor identified with mothers. My sister was lucky , despite all her sugar daddies lovers, she was able to trap a man in mar- riage who brought her to the states. When I left Africa, I was certain that I was going to live a new life,away from my past. I distanced myself from anyone who knew my past .I got married for three years and divorced.
Six months ago ,I met Dennis, a single man who has fathered
four children with three dif- ferent women and all was well between us until I got into a fight with my drunk cousin during an outing with Dennis . My cousin in his
Laughter Is The Best Medicine
The Boy Who Wants To Get Married
A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. “That’s a serious step,” he said. “Have you thought it out com- pletely?” “Yes,” his young son answered. “We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.”
“How about transporta-
tion?” the father asked. “I have my wagon, and we both have our tricy- cles,” the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised. Finally, in exaspera- tion, his dad asked, “What about babies? When you’re married, you’re liable to have babies, you know.” “We’ve thought about that, too,” the little boy replied. “We’re not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I’m going to step on it!
him to his Uncles 50th Wedding Anniversary bash and standing right in front me was the very man that had threatened me with bod- ily harm 17rs prior. Although, the uncle did not speak to me , he stared at me with such hate. I managed to stay for the bash but I was very uncomfortable. I
terrified that the Uncle will tell Dennis about my past. My sister's advice is that I should insist that I was raped whilst in school if Dennis uncle
reports me to him. She has made up some lies against my cousin and people from my past as a precaution to use against them, in the event that they expose us. I am terrified that the Uncle will tell Dennis about my past.
“It is easy to dodge our past but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities to the past. Since you are an adult who is capable of standing up to your dysfunctional family, I will not beat you down about your immoral behavior and your desire for wealth. I am a mother and I find it unimaginable that any one can get me to reject my child or use him as a trading tool. My son is pricless. You may not consider yourself a mother ,but the truth is you are and will always be. Since you have pushed a child out of your body. So get real.
Your cousin is an example of what you will face in the future. So get ready for such scenes. You are terrified about Dennis finding out about your past? why don’t you focus on your sons emo- tional state? Have you ever imagined how he would react when people tell him the circumstances surround- ing his birth and his mother. I doubt that Dennis's uncle will tell given all the details about your past. If he too stepped out on his wife to be with you, that might be your insurance. Why don’t you approach him and inquire about how he feels about you and his nephew. I will suggest that you tell Dennis about your past with- out going into details, but mention the son, afterall a man with four kids by three different baby Mamas should be able to under- stand and accept your story . A lie may take care of the
present, but it has no future. I believe that the only way to move forward is to face your past. Your family is a big influence on your life and it is time that you take a stand and your responsibilities for your actions.
Make your own decisions this time.
Money is the root of many an evil and its value is what yougive it.
Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed,and hidden that will not be known.
Do you have a relationship problem? Is something worrying you? Do you have a story to share? then please email your thoughts to Dear Wadenya through firstname.lastname@example.org
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