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• Be careful about including children in a visit or conversation.


• Invite her toward activities she finds life giving. Often the best things are those that offer relationship with you or others and/or movement. Don’t pressure her or scold her into behavior you think would be helpful.


• Encourage her to consider her emotional and physical health when she is deciding whether to participate in a social gathering, and protect her by helping her leave if the situation is painful: You just say the word and I’ll make an excuse for us to leave.


• Husbands/partners: spoon with her when she’s grieving and don’t try to “fix it.” Let her know, “We are in this together,” and demonstrate that commitment by doing your own research and participating in medical appointments and procedures. Double your daily soothing touches, from a simple caress to a massage. Don’t evade your and her pain by getting lost in work, sports, or the Internet.


Telephone: (914) 777-0661


Sandra Schoeneman, PhD Clinical Psychologist


Office Hours By Appointment 206 West Street Mamaroneck, NY 10543


• Everyone, remember the logistical difficulties of months or years of treatment: perform simple errands or chores to allow her to reserve energy for what many women describe as the fight of their life.


JOAN D.WINOGRAD, LCSW P S YCHOTHE R A P I S T


212-362-4003


Specializing in fertility issues, couples and individual treatment. Ovum donation, donor insemination, secondary infertility, child free living,


parenting and adoption issues, miscarriage issues. 20 WEST 86TH STREET, SUITE 1B, NEW YORK, NY 10024


For many infertile women, the most-common response from friends and family is... n o t h i n g. While not your intention, doing nothing can feel like abandonment at a time when she most needs you. If you can reach out to her in gentle and persistent ways, you can alleviate some of her pain that feels even greater when she is alone. What you do today, can change your relationship with her forever.


This material is adapted from the book, Do you Love someone who is Infertile? By Shari DeGraff Stewart and Julia Fichtner Krahm, published by The Stewart Institute for Infertility and available at www.StewartInstitute.com


THE RESOURCES LISTED IN THIS DIRECTORY ARE UNSCREENED AND SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED AS RECOMMENDATIONS OR ENDORSEMENTS, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, BY THE AFA. 70


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