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decision fraught with unbearable, emotional pain, heartache, and guilt. Genetic counselors can offer clarity of the diagnosis explaining medical facts with the dim prognosis. Then the couple must gather information, statistics and search their souls and hearts to determine what’s right for them and their baby. They may need to consult with pediatric specialists (cardiology, orthopedics, neurologists, etc). They are encouraged to talk with family members, counselors or pastors, explore religious and cultural ties, and consider existing or potential siblings, financial issues, work roles, employment, and re-location necessity to determine what’s possible. Family, friends and co- workers know she is pregnant. Should she now share the truth with all, a few, or do they have a right and need for privacy? Counselors and therapists who understand loss will be helpful with the decision- making and “telling” process.


Whether it’s a miscarriage, termination, fetal demise, stillbirth…there’s tragic, unpredictable loss resulting in shock, pain and sadness. Hopes and dreams began to form and the person of the child began to develop. Plans and future were discussed. COUPLE was morphing into FAMILY. “Why me? Why us?” The question is forever haunting, and the punishment relentless.


FEELINGS You will experience a whole range of emotions with varying degrees of intensity. The mourning period is unpredictable; two weeks to several month with triggers kicking in without warning causing more grief just when you thought you were finally moving on. Emptiness for what was; your body can’t accept the void. Anger, irritability, confusion, inability to concentrate, loneliness, indecisiveness, and sadness are common and expected reactions. Return to work, responsibilities, and routines prior to the pregnancy seem impossible. Family and friends will be there for support but they can’t understand the impact on your life. As they begin to forget and expect you to be OK again, you will always remember the loss and the due date. The loss of a child is the deepest loss one can


Emily J. Laitmon, LCSW Psychotherapy and Coaching


Infertility & Loss...Couple Counseling...Family Therapy 22 Indian Hill


New Rochelle, NY 10804 (914) 633-4224


174 East 74th St #1 New York, NY 10021


(212) 988-2054


Laitmon@aol.com Insurance accepted


experience…”When you parent dies, you’ve lost your past but when your child dies, you’ve lost your future.”


Grieving has a purpose. It permits you to detach appropriately from the relationship you have formed with your baby over the months. The grieving period will provide you with time to accept, understand, and let go.


THE RESOURCES LISTED IN THIS DIRECTORY ARE UNSCREENED AND SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED AS RECOMMENDATIONS OR ENDORSEMENTS, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, BY THE AFA. 109


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