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Letters


and realised that my tether was spent. I crossed the road, ordered a pizza and obediently waited. During my wait a duo of nation- alities prompltly placed their orders. The first ordered in perfect English then followed in French. In my ban- tering mood and with my worldly knowledge I replied in French and had a most joyous conversation with the client.


Next followed a man that sounded like he was ordering dove shit from a combine harvester (he was German) so we had a chat as well, including the French man. Then we were rudely interrupted by two Australian men demanding to get to the counter to order their food, then telling us to f*ck off. They ordered, argued again with the internationals, then I got my pizza and proceeded to walk home. On the way I was passed by the two rude interrupters at pace, and they swiftly turned left and the next thing I heard was “bang, crash, f*ck,” which from what I could gather was the Frenchman


www.thebeast.com.au


that I saw turn left ahead of me 30 seconds previously.


Now, I’m only new to this area but it doesn’t take a swear word in Vanilla Ice’s repertoire to realise that internationals provide a fair share of business to this area’s economy. Second to that, these in- dividuals that resemble nothing but the gutter trash that sucks on the decaying remains of a forgone be- lief that gangs are cool should f*ck off out of my existence and spend their money at the Minto Mall. We don’t need your attitudes that exist as the remains of your f*cked up school years. To quote Chris Lilley, “If you f*ck up in school, you f*ck up in life, and thats f*cked”. One can only assume that those boys f*cked up in school, because I witnessed on Saturday night that they f*cked up in life. That’s f*cked! Leave my suburb! Cameron, Coogee


Lazy Bondi Junction Cleaners I was hoping that one of The Beast’s readers might be able to help


unravel a mystery that has me completely baffled.


Over the Christmas break, we did a bit of off-road driving and unsurprisingly ended up with a dirty car. We occasionally have the car washed at the Bondi Junc- tion Westfield car park on level 1 whilst grocery shopping, so my wife thought that she would do the same again yesterday.


She was surprised when one of the workers there had to call the manager who informed her that the car was too dirty to be cleaned and that she would either need to get a full wash service including car polish for $95, or take the car elsewhere.


The explanation accompany- ing this was that washing dirty cars was not profitable. What did I deduce from this? (a) That if you want your car washed at the Bondi Junction Westfield car park, you had better make sure that the car is clean before you arrive; (b) That cleaning dirty cars is a mug’s game and you’re far better off selecting


the Beast • 19


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