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on underneath my eyes. BIIING! I had one of these moments recently. I admit I’m pretty intolerant. Negative attitudes, snappy
My Journey I
Journey to Acceptance by Cara Herman
LOVE THOSE MOMENTS when I realize something I’ve “known” forever. A simple lesson I’ve repeatedly heard sud- denly clicks and it feels like a light bulb has been switched
remarks and inconsideration get under my skin. It really bothers me when people don’t follow through with commitments. When I hear myself say this, half of me says “Oh, please, get over yourself.” and the other half says “Damn straight!” (I’m a Gemini— the twins are constantly at war.) I continually remind
myself that life is tentative.
Things rarely go as planned and people aren’t perfect. Relation- ships, in a nutshell, are complex compromises. We don’t choose our family members and I don’t think we can choose who we fall for. Loving, however, is a choice. In order to love some- one completely, it is necessary to choose to accept the negative qualities that come with the positive. This is easier said than done.
I’ve been told to “go with the flow” and “accept people for
who they are,” but it was my subconscious assumptions that kept me from truly believing the value of these lessons. I as- sumed that in order to fully accept, I had to like all of the things I was “accepting.” Somewhere deep down there, I also assumed that if I didn’t like it, then I shouldn’t accept it. “Liking” is ir- relevant to acceptance and, of course, there is no guidebook to tell us what we should and shouldn’t accept. Accepting is a circumstantial decision. And from these thoughts my own mantra manifested: “Ac-
cept, don’t expect.” Repeating these three words reminds me it is not my responsibility to mold every little aspect of life to my liking. It is actually a relief to be able to say, “It’s not my prob- lem,” and move on when someone does something that would usually frustrate me. Of course there are many exceptions to these words of
wisdom, but, right now, they apply to what I need to work on most.
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