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CURSES, FOILED AGAIN Authorities investigating a bank robbery in
St. Cloud, Minn., nabbed their suspect after officials at Mystic Lake Casino observed him depositing cash into slot machines in exchange for credit slips. “In effect, he was laundering his money through the casino,” police Sgt. Martin Sayre said. Casino officials became suspicious because Salamo Nam Rakotojoelinandrasana, 23, was exchanging bills covered with red dye, which the bank used to mark the stolen money. (Minneapo- lis’s Star Tribune) When Kenneth Parkerson, 28, sneaked into
the screened patio of a home in Coral Springs, Fla., carrying a video camera, he was confronted by homeowner Ireneusz Fajkis, a firefighter who also happens to be a mixed martial arts fighter. Fajkis chased the intruder, tackled him to the ground and beat him up before calling the police. “I picked the wrong house,” Parkerson reportedly told the hospital nurse who treated his wounds. (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)
POTATO HEAD BLUES Hasbro and PPW Toys announced they’ve
signed a deal with the Elvis Presley estate to release an Elvis version of Mr. Potato Head. The first model, wearing a jumpsuit, was introduced for Elvis Tribute Week in August. A second model, dressed in black leather, will be out in time for Christmas. (Memphis’ The Commercial Appeal)
WAY TO GO Investigators said a car traveling at 92 mph
ran off the road in Willowick, Ohio, then hit an embankment and went airborne. The car flew 173 feet, crashed into the side of an apartment building between the third and fourth floors, bounced off and landed in a parking lot, where police found the driver, Carmen Ritacco, 26, dead. (Cleveland’s WEWS-TV News) An out-of-control sport utility vehicle
veered across a median strip and six lanes of traffic in Fairfax County, Va., before jumping the curb and hitting two bicyclists on a bike path. The Dodge Durango killed one cyclist, 18-year-old Abdel Ouahid Chadli, and injured another before crashing into a tree, killing driver Gary Anthony Thorne, 31. The incident occurred on National Bike to Work Day. (The Washington Post) When Randal Grubb, 63, leaned out of
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his SUV to pick up mail he dropped onto the road in front of his home in Spring Town- ship, Pa., he fell out of the vehicle, which then dragged him down the street and pinned him against a concrete wall. Grubb’s wife, a passenger, wasn’t able to stop the vehicle from rolling forward and called authorities, who pronounced Grubb dead at the scene. (Johnstown’s WJAC-TV News)
PRACTICAL PLANE
GEOMETRY Secret Service agents questioned Alabama
high school geometry teacher Gregory Har- September 1 - 8, 2010 Syracuse New Times
rison, whose lesson in parallel lines and angles used the example of assassinating the president. Joseph Brown, a senior in the geometry class at Jefferson County’s Corner High School, said Harrison “was talking about angles and said, ‘If you’re in this building, you would need to take this angle to shoot the president.’” Special agent Roy Sexton decided the teacher’s remarks didn’t constitute a credible threat, but school Superintendent Phil Hammonds said, “We are going to have a long conversation with him about what’s appropriate.” Afterward, Harrison publicly apologized as part of a negotiated settlement that lets him keep his job. (The Birmingham News)
GIVE AND TAKE Georgia’s Gwinnett County has asked
some 180 county workers to return more than $39,000 they received in bonuses 16 years ago. Authorities blamed the overpayments on a payroll anomaly that occurred when the county adjusted employees’ payroll cycles. (The Atlanta Journal-Constitution) A Pennsylvania man who won a $2,001
slot machine jackpot at Erie’s Presque Isle Downs & Casino not only must give back the money, but also faces criminal trespass charges. The 55-year-old Waterford Township resident had previously banned himself from casinos under a state program for problem gamblers. (Erie Times-News)
REASONABLE EXPLANATIONS After a North Carolina jury convicted
Michael Ryan of first-degree murder, he told a Gaston County judge that he wants to be sentenced to death but without actually being executed. He explained that being on death row would gain him the respect of his fellow inmates. (The Gaston Gazette) Appearing in federal court in Billings,
Mont., Dale Leroy Satran, 46, admitted ille- gally killing a bald eagle but said he thought it was a porcupine. (Associated Press) After inspectors condemned a 3-year-old,
five-story condominium building in Nor- ristown, Pa., because its load-bearing cinder- block walls weren’t filled with concrete and steel rods, as required by code, builder R. Bruce Fazio insisted the hollow walls came “as a surprise to me.” He blamed the masonry contractor, although he couldn’t recall the person’s name. (Philadelphia Inquirer)
LEMMING SEE, LEMMING DO The same day Apple toppled Microsoft as
the world’s leading technology company, it announced it is investigating the apparent sui- cides of 11 workers at the Chinese factory that makes Apple’s iPhones. While denying that working conditions at the Foxconn Technol- ogy plant in Shenzhen prompted the deaths, Foxconn officials said they have begun put- ting safety nets on buildings to discourage suicide attempts by the company’s 800,000 Chinese employees. (The New York Times)
DRIVING WHILE
DISTRACTED Ohio truck driver Thomas Wallace, 45,
pleaded guilty to manslaughter after his rig rear-ended a disabled car on the New York State Thruway and killed the driver. Authori- ties said Wallace didn’t see the victim’s vehi- cle because he was watching pornography on his laptop computer. (The Buffalo News) Authorities said a single-car crash in
Garbutt, N.Y., that sent four teenagers to the hospital was caused by driver Bryan Parslow, 19, who fainted while he and the other three were trying to hold their breath when driving through the hamlet. Monroe County Sheriff’s investigators said that after Parslow lost consciousness, the car left the road, struck a tree and then hit a large boulder. The teens told deputies at the scene that they were all holding their breath as part of a game they had played before. (Rochester’s WHEC-TV News)
SHIKSAPPEAL The Toronto police department has added a
new hate-crime victim category: “non-Jewish Shiksa.” The term “Shiksa” is a slur for non- Jewish woman, making the category not only redundant, but also baffling to the Canadian Jewish Congress, which accused the Toronto Police Service of pushing the anti-hate law “to its most absurd level.” Noting that the police also investigated hate crimes against teachers, feminists, infidels, police, Nazis and pedo- philes, CJC CEO Bernie Farber said, “You just can’t apply it to literally everything.” (Canada’s National Post)
SPIT HAPPENS New York’s Metropolitan Transportation
Authority reported that 51 city bus drivers took an average of two paid months off last year to recover from being spat upon by upset riders. The drivers’ union classifies the indig- nity as an assault, entitling spitting victims to paid leave. One driver needed 191 days to recover. (Associated Press)
STOP THE PRESSES! The world’s largest chocolate maker
declared that its new formula could fight wrinkles and slow the aging process. Con- ceding that chocolate “is probably at the bottom of the list when you think about mak- ing food healthier,” Barry Callebaut Chief Innovation Officer Hans Vriens said the Swiss company’s studies showed that a daily dose of 0.75 ounce of its specially developed chocolate, fortified with antioxidants and flavanols preserved during the manufacturing process, boosts skin elasticity and improves hydration. (Reuters)
News and Blues is compiled from the
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