ents. Just when your 11- or 12-year-old is telling you to back off, he or she needs your support and guidance as much as ever. Parents need to stay involved, and home and school communication is more crucial than ever before. Dara Lewen, a guidance counselor at
West Pine Middle School in Lauderhill, says many parents are completely unaware of what services middle schools provide and how to reach key school personnel. If the school doesn’t send home a packet with tips for effective parent and school communica- tion and procedures for reaching teachers and administration, it’s OK to call the office and ask for this information. As in elementary school, parents need
to be aware and read all packets and news- letters provided by their child’s school. Many students who maintained ac-
ceptable grades throughout elementary school experience a drop in grades once they reach sixth and seventh grade. For this rea- son, parent-teacher conferences are crucial during the middle school years — and it’s important that parents follow up on any suggestions the teachers offer for improving their child’s performance. “Parents should not hesitate to contact the school counselor for assistance with academic, behavioral, or social/emotional issues,” Lewen says. Using a team approach, middle school teachers, counselors and administrators can help your child overcome school problems — but it helps to know that you, too, are on the team. Parents should listen to their middle
schoolers and talk to them daily about school. “It is normal for a child to become more secretive and desire more privacy during adolescence, however, if your child refuses to share information about school
or friends, you may want to contact the school counselor,” Lewen says. Most middle school students are given
planners by the school to record homework assignments. “Parents should check the planner nightly to ensure that homework assignments are being completed.” A bonus is that “the planner is also a tool of com- munication between parent and teacher and informal notes can be jotted down to keep the lines of communication open and to address minor concerns.”
“Introducing yourself to your child’s teacher at the begin- ning of the school year, vol- unteering in your child’s class, and staying in contact with your child’s teacher about progress being made and ar- eas of concern are great ways to develop a relationship with your child’s teacher.”
Handling Concerns When problems arise with students at any grade level, immediate parental commu- nication and involvement is imperative. Experts agree that is it best to already have a rapport with key people in your child’s school before any concerns arise. It’s much more emotionally charged to have to deal with problems the first time you interact with school personnel. The first rule: “When a learning prob-
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lem arises, always start by meeting with the teacher,” says Jo Keltgen, a school psycholo- gist for Broward County schools. Parents
should share any pertinent information with the school that may be contributing to the child’s learning problem. “Parents could later request a meeting with other school professionals such as the exceptional student education specialist or guidance counselor, along with the teacher to deter- mine if individual testing is appropriate for their child.” Open dialogue is key so that the school and parents can work together to help the child learn. If your child is experiencing behavioral
difficulties, don’t wait. Meet with school personnel as soon as possible. Be sure to get all the facts and try not to be defensive. Often kids will not tell their parents the whole story about their involvement in an incident at school. If there is a dispute between the teacher and student, be care- ful not to criticize the teacher in front of the child. In most cases, teachers and other
school professionals are making a diligent effort to be fair and honest. Unless the adult in charge is truly unreasonable, sup- port the school’s course of action. In doing so you will promote social growth in your child and encourage responsibility. In rare cases, if you honestly believe your child is wronged or unfairly treated, politely speak to an administrator to explore your concern. Parents are the child’s first teachers and
remain an integral part of the educational process and community. Without parental involvement, there is a key component missing. Be involved and stay informed to ensure your child’s success in school.
LOUISE HAJJAR DIAMOND is a guidance counselor, freelance writer and mother of two in Fort Lauderdale.
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