HEALTHY WORKPLACE with Koreen Kimakowich


THE DANCE OF COURAGE N


If we want a respectful workplace, employees who have been disrespected must take it upon themselves to speak up


one of us was born with a desire to be disrespected, in either our per- sonal or professional lives. Instinctu-


ally, we all have a desire to be respected. This begs the question: how did we get to that place where workplace harassment and violence are so pervasive that we have to implement intricate response strategies as a means to keep people safe? As I pose this curiosity, I am fully aware that the “disrespect” phenomenon also happens on a global scale. And this is where I think the starting point should be for creating a shift in the workplace.


CHOOSING THE DANCE


Drawing on the analogy of the dance, consider what the “dance of disrespect” has done to perfection. It requires the following: minimum two people, each ex-


ecuting their step with the greatest of precision. In order to bring the dance of disrespect from an intention to a realiza- tion, one of the involved persons, the “of- fender,” must be in a state of what I call the “permission point,” that place where by virtue of who they hold themselves to be, combined with whatever goes on in- side of them at the time, gives them- selves permission to demean, humiliate, disrespect, harm and or be hurtful to their human counterpart. Conversely, the other person, the “sufferer,” must be in a state of what I call the “submission point,” one where by virtue of who they hold themselves to be, they hold them- selves as unable to take action on their own behalf and in such situations, and thus submit to such behaviour. Often, a state of fear drives this response. And


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here’s the reality; there are repercus- sions for saying nothing, as well as for saying something.


It would be wonderful if by virtue of waving the magic wand called respectful workplace program, organizations could eliminate this phenomenon. And the re- ality is we can only evolve into consistently respectful workplaces, one courageous in- dividual at a time. And so before we can realize the respectful workplace dance with any consistency, we will have to wit- ness amongst our employees, the dance of courage first.


Enter the choice point, that place where the “sufferer” chooses to take ac- tion on his or her own behalf and where the alleged offender finds the courage within to be receptive to hearing courage speak. The alternative is to talk to informal support systems usually while standing beside the proverbial water cooler or to uti- lize the formal reporting system, which by virtue of its intricate, mechanistic and in- terpretive nature can be experienced as cold and uncaring for all involved. If what we want is respectful work- places, all involved people in their respec- tive roles must be receptive to hearing that which will interrupt the dance of disre- spect. Ultimately, it will take one of the in- volved parties getting courageous first, and that others acknowledge that courage in spite of themselves and then like an ex- ceptional dancer, reciprocate their lead with more courage.


As Confucius said, “Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?”


Koreen Kimakowich is a former police sergeant with the Ottawa Police Service. She is the founder of Awakening Wave, Organizational


Evolution (www.awakeningwave.ca), spe- cializing in harassment/discrimination workshops and training programs.


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