A-LISTS fruit fly by angelica osborne PRETENDER
“However, in a time when the LGBT move- ment is trying so hard to gain rights and
respect, having phony Hollywood wanna- bes representing the term “bisexual” to middle America just does no good.”
The latest trend in Hollywood is announc-
ing one’s bi-sexuality. Is this good news or is it keeping the LGBT movement stalled in its progress by using the term disingenuously? When actress Anna Paquin and singer Vanessa Carlton
came out as Bi recently, I just rolled my eyes. They join a ton of female Hollywood stars who are so BI they have to tell you about it, because otherwise you wouldn’t’ know. They’ve never been seen or “caught” with a woman and their entire careers have been filled with truckloads of dick, but now they want to be seen as a “Bi-sexual.” I don’t know. I just have to wonder, have they really been in lesbian relationships or did they just make out with a girl during at some drunken college party? Do you really think they licked the kitty? Hmmm. Now they want to seem progressive or hip or liberal, so
what better way then by announcing they are bisexual? I certainly have my doubts. If you are something then just BE that thing. You shouldn’t have to tell me you are funny. If you are…then I should be able to tell that. If you see someone wearing a t-shirt that says, “I am a Ninja,” they probably aren’t. The worst is Tila Tequila. This whack job has made a
career out of being—or at least acting—bisexual on A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila. I think anyone that twitters about fake pregnancies and then fake miscarries, her fake baby is probably also a fake bisexual. Most suspected her “engagement” to heiress Casey Johnson was a staged publicity stunt with a fake diamond. Several friends who came forward and said that they each received calls from Casey Johnson saying her engagement to Tila Tequila was “all for show.” Casey told them she met her only three days before the infamous engagement video and made it very clear to them that she and Tila were not together. The Tila Monster definitely does more harm than good claiming to be BI when she’s not, because then you have people like our parents watching TMZ go- ing, “Oh, so that’s what a bisexual is like. A drunk psycho hooker.” Then you have the most famous bisexual, Jenna Jameson: The porn queen claims to have slept with 100
32 RAGE monthly | JULY 2010 BISEXUAL GREAT THE
women and only 30 men, but only when she’s shooting, which is acting (theater students everywhere shudder...) so does that even count? It’s make- believe, sexual rela- tionships for money. If you play the sexy mailman in porn, does that mean
you should get postal benefits? Reminds me of the scene from the movie, The Opposite of Sex- ”Oh my GOD. You are NOT bisexual. Don’t be stupid. I mean, I went to a bah mitzpah once, that doesn’t make me Jewish.” Now, I must ask myself- is it even any of my business?
Who cares if people lie about their sexuality, it’s just sad for them, right? However, in a time when the LGBT movement is trying so hard to gain rights and respect, having phony Hollywood wanna-bes representing the term “bisexual” to middle America just does no good. It’s misrepresenting a component of sexuality that truly, we ALL possess and isn’t really that outrageous. I love Kate Millet’s statement, “Homosexuality was invented by a straight world dealing with its own bisexuality.” I will just be glad when it’s even a “thing” to announce,
when two women kissing on stage is just natural, and not frontpage news. You just are, it just is, we are all. Alfred Kinsey said it best in his book, Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male. “Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual. The world is not to be divided into sheeps and goats. Not all things are black nor all things white. The human mind invents categories and tries to force facts into separated pigeon- holes. The living world is a continuum in each and every one of its aspects. The sooner we learn this concerning human sexual behavior, the sooner we shall reach a sound understanding of the realities of sex.” Well put, but until then we will be bombarded with
people using sexuality to manipulate their image. Next thing you know Nancy Reagan is going to write a bio about her days as a muff diver in college. That, my friends, will be when bi-sexuality will stop being sexy...
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