screen FILM REVIEW Just Desert The gang swaps Berkin for burqas in the second
Sex and the City movie HOLLY GRIGG-SPALL
Sex and the City 2 is dull and this dull-
ness has a lot to do with the amount of time Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte spend in the desert. Within the first quar- ter of the film, they are swept off to Abu Dhabi on a trip that is beyond luxurious. They have personal butlers, champagne
FILM REVIEW Dagger of Mass Deception
Prince of Persia proves that some video games are better left alone BY MORGAN P. SALVO
Joining the ranks of flicks vying for
worst movie of the year award is Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. Persia is like a bad combo of Pirates of the Caribbean and The Mummy. Making Disney adventures out of a videogame is a testament to producer Bruckheimer’s money-making schemes, but I can only assume that this is the most boring video game ever. Beginning with a credo of destiny
mumbo jumbo, this sword-and-sandal adventure takes place in the golden-hued sixth-century Persian Empire (now Iran) and focuses on the trials and tribulations of Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal), an orphan plucked from the streets by a king (Ronald Pickup). In an only thinly veiled meta- phor, the Persians invade a holy city to seize weapons of less-than-mass destruc- tion (fancy swords) on false pretenses and bad intelligence. Thrown into the mix are Dastan’s two stepbrothers, Garsiv and Tus (Toby Kebbell/ Richard Coyle) and their evil uncle (Ben Kinglsey). The plot hinges on a time machine-like dagger; one press of a button on the handle sends the holder back in time…or time goes back…or time spins around in a smoldering golden whirl- wind. Yes, it’s that confusing. The dagger comes in to play when Princess “pouty lips” Tamina (Gemma Atherton) is captured
then escapes. Treacherous deceit and dag- ger pursuit ensues. Relying on springboard-martial-arts
acrobatics, director Mike Newell (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Donnie Brasco) tries to deliver a throwback to Douglas Fairbanks movies. I used to love this kind of stuff when I was a kid, but I think the high-tech wizardry and the Jackie Chan- like moves will be viewed as old hat by most kids. Every action scene that seemed like it mattered was interrupted by jump cuts to a few minutes later. Nothing really gels. The part when the dagger sends things back into time is so confusingly shot that it al- most defies description: a fiery cyclone of squiggly golden particles, then some kind of flashback superimposed over a flash forward and then back to real time with creepy montage footage of previous scenes surrounded by flames. The writing was equally to blame. Dull
interaction between the principle charac- ters weighs down any attempt at humor. The characters summarize all the action to date every chance they get. Ever since the goofy Bubble Boy role,
Gyllenhaal has been trying to reinvent himself. We’ve seen him as the hateful dick in Jarhead and making out with Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain. Here, Jake
and macaroons served under a silk canopy and a hotel suite with its own fully staffed kitchen, all the while they are situated in the middle of miles of sand dunes. Plausible! Most of us who watched the show held
little hope of having the apartments, ward- robes or endless brunches the characters
OPINION NEWS FEATURE SOUND CHOW SCREEN OUTSIDE CULTURE
JUNE 3, 2010 / THE SOURCE WEEKLY / 33
enjoyed in New York—but the lifestyle was at least potentially obtainable—that is, with the help of a whole lot of maxed-out credit cards. Here we are in a big recession and, in my opinion, some of the blame should be shouldered by the Sex and the City fran- chise. SATC’s answer? Step up the deca- dence, right into a realm enjoyed by a total of perhaps fifty people in the entire world. Absurdly funny as it is, this detracts from the characters’ drama and makes it all the less relatable—not good when common ground is so crucial for Carrie to keep, well, carrying on. Situated some two years later after the
LET’S DRINK TO AN END TO POVERTY...JUST KIDDING! HERE’S TO BUYING STUFF!
first film, Carrie is married to Mr. Big, but her relationship is thrown into turmoil when he buys a television for their bed- room. Miranda hates her job now that she’s stopped hating Steve. Charlotte finds that having two children is trying, despite the around-the-clock nanny care. Samantha is going through menopause. The theme of the film is “rules”—Carrie wants to break the conventions of marriage, Miranda, the restrictions of her career, Charlotte, the ideals of motherhood and Samantha, the boundaries of age. As the women discuss breaking and remaking rules while in a country where there are some strict rules regarding women, there is a huge, deco- rated elephant in the room. The friends talk about doing “what is
best” for them and not what “society” tells them to do, without a smirk of self-reflec- tion. The Sex and the City series has had a
powerful influence on many women’s rela- tionships. Behind many an affair or divorce is the dissatisfaction bred by Sex and the City. Since the first episode aired, we have been gleefully encouraged to define our- selves by the four “types” the characters represent and make our life decisions ac- cordingly. Just four? Talk about strict. Back in 1998, the creators flipped the switch on a treadmill of unstoppable status anxiety. The show’s central rule is: never be
happy. These women are, first and fore- most, consumers—and to be a truly dedi- cated consumer one can never, ever be satisfied. We must always want more. As Carrie opines that the married Mr. Big only wants to stay in and watch black and white movies with her, some sharp some- one pipes up with, “Remember when you couldn’t even get him to sleep over?” Even Mr. Big himself suggests something is con- stantly disappointing Carrie. The trailer claimed that this sequel
would reveal what happens after the hap- pily ever after. What it really shows is that there can be no happily ever after. Not under the rules of this economy and not as long as we need to keep those fifty people in the world living in super luxury.
Sex And The City 2 ★ ✩✩✩
Directed by Michael Patrick King Cast: Sarah Jessica Parker,
Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall Rated R
WHY THE RUSH, JAKE?
is sorely miscast. He looks good and buff, but his facial expressions belie his acting instincts—he’s too “indie” to come off as Errol Flynn. Reduced to reaction shots, he smirks and rolls his eyes in a way that’s too small for this big production. We need to see more bravado, not wimpy side glances and an inconsistent British accent. Then there’s Alfred Molina hamming it up like he walked onstage as Falstaff, bellowing contemporary dialogue about being a small businessman and avoiding paying taxes. Ben Kingsley is utterly wasted, merely sleepwalking in tons of mascara while gri- macing with his King of Siam look. The now apparently typecast Atherton (Clash of the Titans) actually spices things up once in a while, if that tells you anything. The Middle Eastern-flair music with a
thousand bouzoukis is way over the top. The sentimentally sappy “Born Free” theme music is laughable and the credits’ Celtic ballad sung by Alanis Morrisette made as much sense as the time traveling dagger. Unfortunately, Prince of Persia isn’t “so- bad-its-good.” Rather, it’s a stretch of the imagination and a big waste of time. I was never so thankful when a movie was over. The sands of time be damned! I wouldn’t want to relive this one.
Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time ✩✩✩✩
Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Kinglsey, Alfred Molina, Gemma Atherton Directed by Mike Newell Rated PG-13
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