in the form, pay the fees and turn up at an test centre. Here you will be asked to
answer a childishly simple series of questions from multiple choices presented on a computer screen.
Here is an actual sample question from the test:
‘You are in a deep excavation and the walls of the excavation begin to move. What should you do?’
1.Nothing
2.Tell your supervisor when you see him
3.Get out of the trench and warn others of the situation.
David Green of Terrain Aeration has a poke at the Health & Safety man!
We all have to be conscious of the dangers at work, but is all the ‘nanny state’ health and safety legislation really required? For example, take the CSCS scheme now imposed on the building industry, which is a sizeable market for my Soil Aeration Company. For over two decades I have earned at least part of my living by advising and operating, either as a health and safety manager, or as a consultant. I already possess a risk assessment, my company
Health and Safety policy, training certification and all manner of supporting information. But, the new requirements of the CSCS mean that, despite all this documentation, I cannot work for builders in the gardens of houses (that they have already sold) without a small piece of plastic. There is rarely anyone on site to check it anyway! The same rules apply to any landscaper working for the construction industry. How did I get the plastic?
Anyone can get a card, just fill
What sane man would stay in a trench that is collapsing, other than one who is already dead? I may not like some of the people I work with, but leaving them in a collapsing trench to be buried alive seems rather harsh! The time allocated to do this
test was 40 minutes. The actual time I took to answer all of the questions was just over 10 minutes and that included an instruction session on how to use the computer and a feedback session. However, travelling to and
from the exam and the waiting time involved ran away with a full afternoon for myself and my employees, so the cost
was half a day’s earnings plus the cost of travel. Now I have my plastic and I am, therefore, safe to continue doing exactly what I was doing before. The only difference is that the appropriate box in the Health & Safety checklist can now be ticked. Despite possessing my card I recall being called to site and set to work only to discover, during my own pre-work safety checks, that I had been put at risk from buried 11.5KV power cables or 100 PSI National Gas Grid mains pipelines. One of the Health & Safety officers that cleared me to work on land with these risks beneath the surface had previously insisted that I wear a hard hat. The only thing above my head was the odd jumbo jet landing at Heathrow!
I am not arguing that all Health & Safety legislation is superfluous, but that the bureaucratic form filling methods currently used to impose a Health & Saftey conscious regime are misdirected.
What is really needed is a dose of good old-fashioned common sense but, sadly, this can never be instilled by lengthy paperwork processes.
What are you like?
Ken McCurdie, Head Groudsman at Aberdeenshire Cricket Club - looking for the ‘ideal’ woman and banging on about this, that and the other!
What is your dream holiday? I’m not a fan of the beach, so travelling through the Far East.
What annoys you the most? People who “fly by the seat of their pants”. Why don’t they read the rule book first?
What would you change about yourself? My age.
Who wouldn't you like to be? The girl who does the Speaking Clock. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Now that’s a fair shift!
Who are you? Ken McCurdie, Head Groundsman, Aberdeenshire Cricket Club, Aberdeen.
Status (married, single, children etc.)? Amicably divorced. Three boys all over 18.
Who’s your hero and why? My last girlfriend who sorted my head out following my divorce.
Favourite record, and why? 1970 - Young Girl by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. First song I sang on stage and got paid for.
Who would you choose to spend a romantic evening with? Any woman who’ll have me!
If you won the lottery, what is the first thing you would do? Ensure my sons were financially secure.
If you were to describe yourself as a musical instrument, what would you be? A bass drum, as I’m always banging on about something or other.
What’s the best advice you have ever been given? Don’t ask someone to do something which you wouldn't do yourself.
What’s your favourite smell? The inside of a brand new magazine.
What three words would you use to describe yourself? Honest, reliable, sympathetic.
What talent would you like to have? Well, I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
What makes you angry? People who harm animals.
What law/legislation would you like to see introduced? Identity cards for everyone.
Grumpy
OLD GIT!
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