The not so serious side of the industry You CANNOT be serious!
Pitchcare’s Agony Aunt .... Dear Abby,
I’ve never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”
I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?
I once picked her mobile phone up just to see what time it was and she went
berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but yesterday she went out again and I decided to really check on her.
I decided I was going to park my Ride on tractor next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my John Deere, that I noticed that the engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the main dealer?
Thanks, Bob
It’s only words ...
and word’s are all I have to take your breath away. Or, in Laurence’s case, the will to live! Further proof, as if it were needed, that our Loz thinks a Thesaurus is a prehistoric monster!
“the added value for all society is hugh
... there will be much debate and legislation to reduce and maximise the way we manage our water resources
It’s no wonder they have recognised that complacency is not a word in there vocabulary
... with over 60 years of experience, dedication and development under their belt they defiantly have a proven pedigree and reputation to follow
There is no doubt that they have earned the respect of valid customers
Our industry is unique in many ways often fragmented but rest assured its always has room for development and change
” The Ice Age!
JASON Barry is the BBC correspondent in Estonia and is a bit of a cricket fan. A few years ago he started the Estonia Cricket Club which plays ‘normal’ cricket in the summer but, as the season is somewhat shorter, they arrange an Ice Cricket Tournament in the winter to prolong their enjoyment of the game.
The team is made up of the usual core of fanatics surrounded by a mushy outer layer of drifters and wannabes. Apart from Brits, Estonians and Indians they also have Finns, the odd Dutchman, a Kiwi, an Oz or three, a sprinkling of Russians and some bloke from Aruba (wherever that is!).
Blythswood CC from Essex won this winter’s title, but there aren’t many takers for the team bath afterwards!
www.cricket.ee if you really want more info.
Get me some golf balls - and make it snappy!
A British pensioner helped save a man from the jaws of a 7ft (2m) long alligator while on holiday in the US.
Tom Arundel, 73, from Basildon, Essex, was playing golf at New Port Richey, in Florida, when he heard shouting.
Tom, and his American friend Pat McGuire, 68, rushed to help and found Vernon Messier, 57, waist-deep in water as an alligator tore at his foot.
Mr Messier gouged at the alligator’s eyes and it let him go, allowing the pair to pull him out.
He had been collecting golf balls from the waterholes at the course for resale when the creature attacked him.
Tom said: “We just heard someone shouting for help
and saying ‘a gator’s got me’. We rushed over with our golf clubs and found this man hanging off the bank. The alligator had his foot and wouldn’t let it go.”
“He was wearing a wet suit down to his ankles and that probably saved him,” he said.
Messier was left with a bloodied foot, but was able to drive himself to hospital and was thought likely to make a full recovery.
The alligator was later caught and killed which seems a tad harsh on the poor creature!
Can there really be enough money in reselling lake balls to risk life and limb?
Vernon Messier was later seen on the course with new alligator skin golf bag, golf shoes and a Pro V1 with teeth marks (only joking).
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