important lessons you’ve learned in life? What is your earliest memory?’

If you can set up your kids or yourself to interview with a video camera or notebook, or just a set of ears, great. Otherwise, asking a parent to write down those stories, even snippets, could be rejuvenating for him. Maybe your badly arthritic dad can’t keyboard, but he can probably use voice recognition software. (Dragon NatuallySpeaking, $100, is 99 percent accurate to about 160 words per minute.)

Kid benefit: They learn that Grandma hasn’t spent her entire life playing bridge; heck, she marched on Washington for civil rights; or she actually was Ro

t

i he Ri ete

v r. Grandpa founded a highly–

respected program for alcoholics, maybe, or studied with Mark Rothko. That gives a greater understanding and appreciation of living history and the ‘circle of life’—and of the sparky 17 year-old still inside every withered body. It also sharpens listening skills and helps the generations connect.

Senior benefit: It’s mentally invigorating to think about childhood. Watch your parents perk right up when they tell you about the rotten kid down the street who pulled a mean trick and then got his. Ha!

CHRIS BROWN VERSUS GLEN MILLER

“Your generation’s music is just awful!” Sound familiar? It should do—you’ve probably even said it. Generational music clash has been the norm for many years, although Woodstock-survivor grandparents might be more likely to complain that Green Day is an anodyne, suburban version of Sid Vicious than tuneless rubbish. And ubiquitous iPods

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have thankfully made it easier to keep music down low and personal. But music also brings people together. And Pandora—the internet radio station— can bring Usher and Duke Ellington into perfect harmony.

Pandora, relying on the Music Genome project, analyzes the 400 musical attributes, including rhythm, form, composition, melody and harmony, that underlie the structure of any piece of music. It then finds music with similar attributes.

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Create a family radio station by plugging in one of each family member’s favorite bands—and see what Pandora comes up with. You never know, you might grow to an appreciation of each other’s music while cooking dinner together.

Distance version: “Dear, that music could get me out of my grave,” one drooping elderly woman told me as she leaped back into action at our aerobics class when “King Porter Stomp” surprised us. In fact, she wasn’t exaggerating all that much. Studies have found that hearing the music of your youth actually makes your cells act younger. So make sure your parents have an accessible source for swing dancing, big band concerts, or the Rolling Stones.

WHAT’S FOR DINNER?

You’re not a short order cook. So don’t act like one. The rule should be that a family member doesn’t have to eat the meal you’ve prepared, but they do have to taste it and they do have to politely thank you for cooking—and there isn’t anything else. Mr. College Graduate doesn’t get to slam out and cook himself the steak you’d planned for tomorrow. Get together to discuss

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