World Cup Winners are... England!
instilled to the England squad by the granite faced Fabio Capello which should see us breeze past USA, Algeria and Slovenia in the opening group stage. USA expect to win everything, even the games they don’t take part in! Their star man is Landon Donovan who has scored 42 goals in 120 internationals and is still only 27! Algeria have never played England
Their captain is Yazid Mansouri who likes to think he is Stevie Gerrard! Thankfully he’s not! Slovenia will be a hard nut to crack and only have Robert Koren as an attacking force which shouldn’t trouble our experienced defence. This now should take us onto to meet the Aussies in the next round who will obviously put up a
them. Australia will love to turn over the
most of the damage. But they will need
beat the English, “What’s that Skippy, here comes Rooney again!”
If all goes to plan, next up will be France who, after Thierry Henry’s blatant cheating,
will love the French and it will show. This will be payback time for our friends in the Republic of Ireland and prove cheaters never prosper.
correctly so far, we should be in the semi
not the force that they have been in recent years and if we can cut out the supply to Kaka then I can see us nicking a win by the odd goal in three!
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Sunday 11th July, at 7.30pm in the Soccer City Stadium in Johannesburg will see our boys take on World Cup favourites, Spain.
Harlem Globe Trotters! Give the ball away and you won’t get it back for 30 minutes! Any squad that contains Inker Casillas, Carles Puyol, Xavi, Andres Iniesta, David Villa, Cesc Fabregas and Fernando Torres will give any opponents night mares so why do I fancy England? Spain have never won the World Cup and haven’t gone
England’s record and form going into this game is second to none. We know how to handle Torres, I mean, is he really going to stand a chance against a back four of team mate Glen Johnson, Rio Ferdinand, John Terry and Ashley Cole! Capello has also introduced discipline into some of our hot-headed players. No one really needs reminding how indiscipline has disrupted our paths in recent tournaments. The lessons of tolerance by Capello will be drilled home to excitable players like Rooney to remain ice cool and count to 10! Our Wayne has learned how to control his temper as he has only picked up one yellow card under Capello’s reign whereas he had 7 yellows and a red in his previous 40 games! So something must be sinking in to his shaven head because we, and more importantly Wayne, need 11 men on the pitch to stand any chance. In fact, England have picked up only 12 cautions and one unlucky red card under Capello. Fabio has also given players self belief. Fabio explains to them that you don’t
the ball, especially against the Spanish and you’ll waste unnecessary energy trying to win the ball back. England will win the World Cup in the Soccer City Stadium in Johannesburg and will prove to everyone that this time we’ll get it right, or will we?
Rio Ferdinand will lift the World Cup New Balls Please!
After three years of downing steins and steins of lager in a beer Keller somewhere in the Black Forest, otherwise known as
Cup ball was created. The ball’s name is
to tell all your friends!] and Adidas have reassured us that this ball is supposed to be rounder than any other ball that’s ever been made! How did they achieve this? Simple! The white-coated, bespectacled doctor from the sports institute explained that all you need is eight thermally bonded 3D panels and spherically mould them in to a ball which is 20% more accurate and outperforms all other balls! I’m not arguing with the Doc but let’s hope England can
researchers found the backs of their necks.
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