Q: The last few years I’ve experienced dead-ends and confusion about the right steps to take. How do I get on the right track?
A: The issue is how to tell which is the voice of inner wisdom, which is the inner critic or inner child, which is a parental tape you copied unconsciously, which is just matching your close associates, and so on. To get to know your wise self, practice on small decisions, such as which route to take when you drive, to see what the wise self feels like. You can use John Bradshaw’s technique of dialoguing with an inner personality by asking it to write a letter to you with your nondominant hand. Ask for guidance before you go to sleep to get deeper information than that from the monkey mind.
Q: I’m a teacher who has wiggly hyper kids. Any way to calm them?
A: Do Braingym exercises with them to get them unscrambled; see http://esl.
about.com/od/englishlessonplans/a/ braingym.htm. Encourage them to drink water rather than sugar drinks. Do deep breathing with them, so the belly rises—in through the nose, hold, out through the mouth as if you were keeping a feather in the air. Ground yourself and imagine the room bathed in a calm color such as blue so they can match your centeredness. Praise them when they settle down and focus: “Good job, people.”
Q: I’m scattered, overwhelmed, and don’t attract healthy women into my life.
A: Our romantic partners (and kids, bosses, and pets) are often mirrors showing us our shadow selves, our “buttons” that need to be cleared. As you set healthy boundaries with yourself and take charge of your daily life, you’ll attract a different kind of woman. To set priorities for your various tasks, write each task on a different index card. On the back of the card list action items, such as a phone call or Internet search. At the beginning of the week organize the cards in order of priority and take action on the first one. Completing one job gives you energy to tackle another. Some big tasks, such as a job search or housecleaning, may require commitment of an hour a day. If you can afford it, hire an assistant for a
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