The Cockney Scouser’s still at it Guv!
Overall, a fantastic Overhaul!!!
Crumbs... incredibly it’s just over one year now that I have been driving my ‘bread van’ for a living and it is ‘fare’ to say that I have earned a bit of dough from the ‘Merc for Werk’ and made a crust and a decent wedge from her (and I don’t do bungs either!). Obviously, having had the vehicle for over a
how it went: The Irish Company, SGS UK is the current London taxicab and minicab testing authority. SGS contract to inspect and license these vehicles commenced in April 2004 and remains in force until 31st
December
2011 with an option to extend the contract for another two years if all parties agree…However, two years ago, half yearly examinations for London taxicabs were abolished by the then new Mayor of London, Boris (the ‘I hate Scousers’ feller) Johnson AKA Bo Jo. In my opinion, I didn’t agree with that, as you now constantly see some old wrecks plying for hire, and that’s just the drivers, don’t ask about the actual taxicab as they are often worse (50 years, this cab’s been on the road guv…!).
It’s now been reported that SGS will lose their franchise at the end of the contract and from 1st
January 2012, taxicabs will have their annual tests from
any VOSA registered garage. Not sure if that is good or bad as there is no information at the moment to what this will entail. However, I was a bit worried about getting a knock back on my test, namely with all the shiny blinding bling, so I emailed my boss (no…not er indoors), John Mason who is the Director of taxis and minicabs…oh alright then Private Hire at the PCO. He replied instantly in writing that everything is basically approved on my Merc for Werk and that the dark old days of cabs being given a suspension due to
(and I don’t mean the driver) or a sticker saying “Rushie is back!” etc have long gone. Incidentally, that sticker saying “Rushie is back” earned my then cab, a Metrocab (yeah I know I was a silly boy but I was young and innocent
with that sticker…I did try countless times to say it was regarding Liverpool FC’s magical striker, Ian Rush AKA Rushie who had just re-signed for LFC from Juventus and NOT the author Salman Rushdie of The Satanical Verses fame!!! Now that you couldn’t make up… Anyhow, coming back to the present age, it is fair to say that the service from the SGS testing centre in Tottenham
them even querying anything bling. Thanks lads and Mr Mason, oh and Helen Chapman too.
Have a Screw-driver!!!
Now dear readers, did you see this one in the national press last month? It’s a classic! A taxi driver was chased down the street by a machete wielding drunken passenger after the driver refused to have sex with the man’s wife as payment for the £10.50 fare. When the taxi arrived at the man’s address in Bolton (Lancashire, you know outside the M25, my lovely Cockney China’s), the passenger refused to pay and instead offered the driver the chance to go inside for some “jiggy jiggy with wife”. The drunken man reacted furiously as the taxi driver calmly explained this would not be acceptable. Perhaps he wanted something smaller as she opened her legs! Then the driver was left shaking after the man ran
The driver said (in his best Marks and Spencer deep Lancs accent) that this wasn’t just an ordinary kitchen knife but it was a machete, and about
old man was arrested on suspicion of causing affray and bailed pending further inquiries and the taxi driver was nearly cautioned of causing an affair! Well that second part I just made up but it’s funny and perhaps feasible though!
Smash that ash!!!
I’m not going to mention the recent and still ongoing travel chaos affecting not just the UK but most of Europe due to the rumblings from Iceland as we all know what happened. Mind you I blame Bjork myself. However,
seem, was being done by the hundreds of news reporters bringing us all those great overhead shots from the volcano…weird or what? As Mount Eyjafjallajokull continually erupts over Fimmvörduháls, spare a thought for dyslexics everywhere wishing it had been Mount Etna though! In actual fact, scientists are warning that another Icelandic volcano, Katla, could become active soon with TEN times the strength of the previous eruption.
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This could mean a bigger ash cloud, causing prolonged travel chaos and colder weather, with even possible food shortages…bet that causes Weightwatchers to go bust as millions of people lose weight due to a lack of grub! On the plus side though the World’s media will be able to pronounce Katla when it does eventually blow its top. I thought that a volcano is a hot liquid rock plumbing system which extends for several tens of miles deep below the earth’s surface, but the volcano is erupting underneath
a glacier, meaning everything kicks up through a hole in the freezing ice. Some scientists are calling it an ice-hole, but other scientists are saying the problem is pre existing ash; therefore it’s more of an ash-hole (steady now!)!
suspended so how the hell did Manchester United still pack out Old Trafford as none of their fans live within 200 miles of Manchester? I also heard that
and as there were so many German planes over France during this chaos France automatically surrendered…and talking of France, quite a few Merc Drivers I know got jobs crossing the Channel but I declined them all as I don’t go crossing the river – know what I mean guv? And the next time I go to Iceland for the weekly shopping and the check out lady asks me if I want any ash-back, I will scream…
Finally and all excitedly!!!
Remember that you do not have to be a London only taxi driver to be a member of http://londontaxiforum.co.uk or to read…http:// theandersonshelter.blogspot.com/
Any drivers that wish to help us and go on our LTFUC outings to Woburn this month and Southend in July or companies who wish to donate, please contact us on our website or through me and Taxi talk Magazine…http://www.thelondontaxidriverschildrenscharity.co.uk/
Be lucky Guv’nor. And don’t forget to keep those electric and manual doors locked for your own safety…the great Sheldon Collins…AKA The Cockney Scouser.
The Seyhan and Mehmet
Memorial Cup Tournament
Upton Park
Sunday 16th May 2010 Kick Off 18.00 Entrance is by donation
lease come and support us at this unique charity event at West Ham United Football Club, Boleyn Ground, Green Street, Upton This event will host the gathering of London
P
cure for Ewings Sarcoma to help save lives in the future.
This annual charity event has been organised since 2005 in the memory of two brothers, who both died from Ewings Sarcoma (a form of bone cancer). Seyhan Ali had Ewings Sarcoma from 2003 and passed away in 2005, aged just 14. Seyhan’s brother Mehmet
wonderful work of the Bone Cancer Research Trust we can all
and Seyhan you can visit ‘The Memorial Cup’ website at http:// memorial-cup.moonfruit.com.
Come along to the Boleyn Ground and support this memorial event to raise money for the Bone Cancer Research Trust.
Many Thanks Stephen Powell and Russell Hall
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