A-LISTS it’s a girl thing
by henrietta henry
S.P.E.L.L. IT OUT WITH
I really like the month of February. It’s a weird month. The only one that starts a seemingly uncanny ability to block me from a sweet underdog comeback at
with “F,” the only one with a weird amount of days—and every four years it gains every single turn. Truly, I feel as though she could probably work for the NFL as a
an extra day. (2010 is not a leap year, by the way) And it’s the only one with a game strategist. She really is just that good. And for my part, it seems like I’m con-
holiday (weirdly enough) centered on love’s sweet splendors despite its origins stantly looking down at my tile tray to see if I can lay something incredible down,
in honoring martyred Christian saints. I’m not going to talk about Valentine’s Day but usually I’ve got nothing but vowels or consonants; the piddlely little 1 point
though. I want to talk about what I want for Valentine’s Day. That’s a little weird tiles that might earn me a whopping 5 or 6 points if I could put them together. And
too, right? Making a list for Cupid and hoping he flutters in my favor. that’s a big IF. Try making a word out of 3 “U’s”, 2 “O’s”, and 2 “E”’s. Not an easy task.
Really though, I do want something for Valentine’s Day—I want, with burning The frustration is just terrible…and yet I come back again and again for more ass
desire, to beat my girlfriend at Scrabble. Yes, Scrabble. I’ve been with my girlfriend kicking’s from my beloved, in all her Scrabble victory glory.
“Try making a word out of 3 “U’s”, 2 “O’s”, and 2 “e”’s.
Not an easy task. The frustration is just terrible…and yet I come back again and again for more
ass kicking’s from my beloved, in all her Scrabble victory glory.”
a little over a year now and have played Scrabble with her countless times, but I want Scrabble victory glory! I want to have amazing words to put down like
have NEVER beaten her. Not even once. She argues that there must have been at “hexagonal” “zephyrs” or “xylophone.” I want to finally add up our scores at the
least one game where I came out on top—and yes, she was referring to Scrabble, end of a grueling two-hour game and see that I’M the winner, and then I want to
hehe, but I have to remind her (a bit begrudgingly) that I have yet to win despite knock the board over, watch the letters fly all over the place and jump for absolute
our regular battles. and utter joy. Call me ridiculous, I do not care. I want to sit in the winner’s circle
The problem with her is that she’s just so good at it. I’m constantly amazed at and know, for once, what it’s like to completely conquer at this, one of the most
her ability to either annihilate me with ridiculous leads at the jump or come back challenging games of all!
at the last minute to pummel me with some insane word like “juxtaposed” on a Somehow I just don’t think my fantasy would work well for Valentine’s Day—
triple word score tile, which would be worth something like 150 points. Her game there’s nothing worse than excessive gloating to kill the moment. And Valentine’s
face is very sweet too; never aggressive or antagonistic. She kills me softly and it Day is supposed to be about sweetness and love. So, instead of losing it in a crazed
makes it even worse. fit of madness, however, I think I’ll keep with the going theme. I can picture it: a
Me on the other hand, I’m like one of those loud football fans on the inside. cute, romantic dinner, then hopping over to our favorite spot for some drinks and
She’ll lay down her meticulously planned plays and in my head I’ll be screaming then I casually whip out…the Scrabble board. Perhaps cupid really will flutter in
until my face is red and the veins pop out in my neck. All that’s missing is the pitch- my favor. Here’s hoping!
ers of beer, Buffalo wings and a rowdy sports bar. I feel as though my other secret
self will die from a coronary heart attack or a stroke or something. I watch as she
feedback?
itsagirlthing@ragemonthly.com or
blog@ragemonthly.com
mercilessly slices and dices me to ribbons with triple and double word scores and
26 RAGE monthly | February 2010
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