A-LISTS rage rhythms
What ’s LOve
Got to Do With it?
by jeff chandler
In honor of Saint Valentine, for this of Valentine’s Day, I haven’t recognized
month’s edition of music, I’ve decided to a song yet. I was born in 1985.” Uh…it’s
time travel back to February 14…that is on shuffle. Remember? Wait a minute.
February 14 of the past five decades. What Here you go. I’ll put up the swing set
song was number one on the charts that for you because here comes Kelly Clarkson and
day and was love really in the air or her number one hit of V-Day, 2009 called “My
at least the airwaves for this day of Life Would Suck Without You.” Suck on that
romance, chocolate and roses? Let’s lollipop of love baby!
go. Are you strapped in and do you Maybe you’re bored with the same old…
have your iPod ready to chart the same old…not every man has a heart of gold
course of history? I’m setting the and if you have the urge to break away and for-
time machine on shuffle. Whether get about the hearts and flowers, here comes
you are falling in or out of love, let “Creep” by TLC riding the number one spot of
these songs set the course for you February 14, 1994. “I creep around because I
on Valentine’s Day. need attention.” Go for it dude.
Who better to begin with than “Ahhh. What ya doing honey? You know
someone who definitely knows the I’m coming over.” Those immortal words of passion
ins and outs of romantic entangle- were uttered by Usher with his top of the chart hit
ment? That’s right. On February 14, called “Nice and Slow” for V-Day, 1998. Talk about
1993 the number one song was “I getting freaky with it…my glasses are steaming up.
Will Always Love You” by Whitney Explosions and everything…you don’t have to spell
Houston. For all of us who have lost a it out for me Usher. I think my CD player just had an
love…get your hankies out and have orgasm.
a good cry. You’ll feel rejuvenated and ready Got bling? Going way back to Valentine’s Day of
to fall in love again, I promise you. 1965, someone has a hot ring on his hands and
Looking to get lucky on this day of “This diamond ring doesn’t shine for him any-
l’amour? Or light a true love’s wicked sense more.” Gary Lewis and the Playboys created one
of humor. The spin cycle just landed again. of the most depressing songs of love that was in
Let me sing along to “if ya want my body the top spot on V-Day with “This Diamond Ring.”
and ya think I’m sexy…come on sugar let Remember. No one likes a whiner…here’s to all of
me know.” It’s none other than Valentine’s us looking for love in all the wrong places.
Day, 1979 as Rod Stewart struts his bad self As this scientific test in musical time travel
to “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” comes to a close, it’s fitting that it would end the
From dirty blonde to wholesome as apple pie, CD shuffle with the simplest expressions of new
just remember “one bad apple don’t spoil the love for Valentine’s Day of 1964 from The Beatles.
whole bunch.” The Osmonds led the Billboard “Oh yeah I’ll tell you something I think you’ll under-
charts on V-Day, 1971 with “One Bad Apple.” stand. And I say that something...”, “I Want to Hold Your Hand.” So,
“Give me one more try before you give up our whether it’s your sister or brother, ma or pa or that special lover or
love.” So sweet, so delicious! It’s always fun to run partner in life…go give them a squeeze. Happy Valentine’s Day time
into an “ex” on this special day…NOT! travel to everyone.
“Do That To Me One More Time.” Seriously.
Talk about laying all your cards on the table on
Valentine’s Day, 1980. That’s just what The Captain
& Tennille had in mind with their message of love
for lovers everywhere that year. “Once is never
enough with a man like you…” Slip this one in and
let the fireworks begin!
Who does he think he is? What an ego! He is so full of himself. If you want to
wash that man out of your hair and Valentine’s Day is not your personal favorite,
crank it up now. Right Said Fred will surely take that sourpuss and turn it into a
sly smile with their number one hit “I’m Too Sexy” in 1992. “Gee, time traveler
18 RAGE monthly | February 2010
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