horoscopes by vera divine
SAGITTArIUS November 23 – December 22
Stand at attention, Sargeant Sagittarius! I have a mission
for you and your fellow zodiac buddies, and I expect you
to deliver! 2010 could be your big opportunity to pursue
your ultimate dream of happiness—IF you start the year
off with a bold, but well-strategized bang! For that special
make you smile? It may have taken a night of ghoulish
person who means the world to you (whether or not you’ve
visits from beyond the grave for Ebenezer Scrooge to
expressed it), give a gift that shows both your knowledge of
wise up about his curmudgeonly demeanor, but you
his/her likes and dislikes, as well as great personal sacrifice.
don’t respond well to threats so instead I’ll remind
And no, money isn’t personal. Pull him/her aside, maintain
you how loved you are—moodswings and all.
good eye-contact and present your offering with a smile.
It should be both a charming memento and a gesture of
LEO July 24 – August 23
your feelings. But make sure to deliver it before the stroke of
Work, responsibilities and fitness routines. How
midnight on New Years Eve! You’ve got all month to become
DO you do it, Leo? Wherever your initiative comes
the perfect Santa Claus, soldier. So make it good.
from, you’re a real inspiration to the rest of us on the
lazier end of the zodiac wheel. Just don’t go too far,
wildcat. If it’s an extra pound or two you’re trying to
CAPRICORN December 23 – January 20 routine, I’d say it’s a safe bet that you’re willing to give shed, nothing makes that process more difficult then
Tired of being alone, Capricious Capricorn? Well, something else a try to see how you like it. If you’re a thick layer of stress! Look forward to a great time
you’ll get no sympathy from me! For starters, you’re looking to cut out the commercialized aspect of the relaxing after all your loose ends are tied. Remember
not alone! There are plenty of people with whom season and get back to the basics of togetherness, that Mrs. Santa—or that cute elf in accounting—
you could be spending quality time in these magi- now would be a great time to learn the principles could have a nice surprise for you at home!
cal weeks of celebration. Instead of moping about of Kwanzaa. Modern traditions include many of the
in your own personal game of solitaire, try a group qualities at which you already excel—determination, VIRGO August 24 – September 23
activity, like the classic group-friendly Teetotum! All purpose, responsibility etc. Just make sure you also It might be the hopeful mood around this time
you need is a dreidel, some good Kosher wine and focus on the other candles on your Kinara, like faith, of year, but most business propositions you make
good company! unity and creativity! this month will be received well. You’ll also find that
frequent changes of pace will freshen your mental
AQUARIUS January 21 – February 19 TAURUS April 21 – May 21 pallet when you need a reboot. It will keep you alert
Even in this nippl... uh, nippy weather, your heart You want adventure, discovery and risky thrills? Go too—a close friend or two will count on you on the
remains just as warm as always—even if you’re not on a vacation. Seriously! Why not celebrate prosper- third week for clarity and your ability to listen. You
in the habit of showing it. But worry not, I won’t tell ity by cashing in on your hard work? After months don’t need the ghost of Christmas future to tell you
anyone you’re a big softie. I won’t have to! Your ac- on end with no playtime, you’ll need a change of the benefits of giving of yourself freely.
tions of unequivocal generosity will reveal your true settings in order to unwind. You think Rudolph the
nature in good time. Frosty the Snowman may have Red-Nosed Reindeer doesn’t fantasize about flying LIbRA September 24 – October 23
been loved by many, but his tendency to melt into through the sky in first-class instead of hauling a few Relax! You’ve got to resist the urge to calculate
a puddle prohibited many of the physical affections million iPods on Santa’s sleigh? the financial beating that this season is sure to give
you have to look forward to this season! you. Unless you plan on giving out hugs this holiday
GEMINI May 22 – June 21 season, you’re going to be in the same boat as the
PISCES February 20 – March 20 For a freshened new look this season, you don’t rest of us! But so what? If you’re going to have to
You’re through feeling like a stinky gefilte fish. This need a new wardrobe, a haircut or botox injections— endure it anyway, why not enjoy the madness with
month will be good to you, my sexy little swimmer. unless you’re the grinch who stole Christmas. Though, the generous and jolly Hoteiosho—one of the seven
Attracting who and what you want will be a piece even he only needed a jolt of perspective. All you deities of good fortune in Japanese mythology who
of fruitcake! And the best part is, you won’t have to really require is an affirmation—a reminder of what bears gifts, much like our own Santa!
wait until Rosh Hashanah to get your kugel on with a truly makes you happy. Sure, we all like presenting
nice mensch! All month long, you’ll have a boatload ourselves in the best visual way, but it doesn’t count SCORPIO October 24 – November 22
of sea men pining for a piece of that tailfin—or just for much if it cost us more happiness to begin with. Not in the mood to celebrate this season? I know,
some of your attention, if that’s what you’re into. By the holidays aren’t everyone’s thing. But that’s
the last week of the year, you’ll have a nice schmear of CANCER June 22 – July 23 no reason for you to completely push it all away!
prospects to choose from. Lately you’ve been characteristically...crabby! Yes, Celebrate with your own style! You’ve never been
it’s in your nature to withdraw...but for just one sea- the cookie-cutter type, so why not add your personal
ARIES March 21 – April 20 son, do you think you could crawl out from under your flair to redefine the holidays? Jack Skellington had no
Though you’re accustomed to your comfortable shell and try to appreciate those who are trying to trouble at all making Christmas his own!
80 RAGE monthly | December 2009
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