Rachel and Finn (Cory Monteith), Puck
(Mark Salling) and Rachel, Puck and
Quinn (Dianna Aragon), Mr. Schuester
and Emma Pillsbury (Jayma Mays –
she sounds like a rapping baseball
player!) to keep things entertaining.
The one between Sue and herself could fuel a dozen soap son-
operas on its own. Wentz saying
Now, if only Puck and Finn would show uneducated she was glad to leave Melrose
viewers a new meaning for wide receiver or tight end. Place—you keep telling yourself that.
However, Finn and Kurt recently became “good friends” So what if a majority of the characters (Quinn, Rachel and Tina
when the latter professed his feelings for him. What? No played by Jenna ushkowitz) are early twenties, 23, to be specific. The fact that
special handshake was involved! on the subject of Kurt… Puck and Finn’s real-life counterparts are both 27, breaks Fox’s earlier record held
the episode when he comes out to his father tugged on by Luke Perry’s 25-year-old 90210 student Dylan McKay.
heartstrings that I thought were tied up in bitter knots. I Artie Abrams (Kevin McHale) and Kurt could pass for some-children-left-behind
now believe in miracles. Speaking of believing…the cast recording of Journey’s at 21 and 19, respectively. olivia Newton-John was 30 and Stockard Channing was
“Don’t Stop Believin’” recently achieved gold status, so it was only a matter of time 34 when they appeared in the similarly-themed Grease—sounds like Boniva was
before the makers of the series realized they had struck just that with the show’s needed during filming, because slipping on some discarded “Greased Lightning”
tunes. could have resulted in broken hips! I threw that last dig in so that “Gleeks” (rabid
The first of several planned soundtracks for Glee was recently released and fans of the show) won’t come after me with Chinese throwing stars fashioned out
number two will hit record stores (do they still make those?) on December 8. of used retainers!
Career SPF Madonna Episode
one thing the cast of Glee may want to steer clear of is doing too much too soon, You would think that a show, which already had a Wicked “diva-off” between
so apply that career SPF in healthy doses to avoid a nasty burn from overexposure! Kurt and Rachel to see who would be “Defying Gravity” in a solo, and a wheelchair-
In the past few months, they have embarked on an autograph signing tour for the inspired performance of Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary” in one episode couldn’t
aforementioned first soundtrack, will partake in a summer 2010 concert tour— get much gayer. oh, but it is! There’s an entire Madonna-themed episode on
kinda akin to what American Idol does with the Top 10, but without the worry that the cone-bra horizon, as she has granted the rights to her back catalogue to be
Paula Abdul may try to sneak on stage, thinking she has a new “job.” used on the show. Hmm, but who should sing what? It’s a safe bet that preggers
Those busy ‘lil bees also sang at a game during the World Series, which was Quinn’s a shoo-in for “Papa Don’t Preach.” Somehow, I can fathom Kurt working
a wee bit on the questionable side. I don’t think of teens singing the national himself into a gay cyclone of a frenzy about what song to do, call it a hunch. The
anthem when I imagine the very fabric of a treasured pastime (Go, team?), like writers could throw him a literal bone and give Kurt a boyfriend. Then, it’s “Burn-
hockey. Wait, I get it! There’s a character named Puck and that’s what they use to ing up” all the way. Hell, even if he’s single it’s lyrically apropos—don’t put him
shoot through hoops at the games. You must have thought me momentarily fool- off ’cause he’s on fire or do you wanna see him down on his knees, bending over
ish or saw that I was trying to make a point, ala the show—that stereotypes can backwards—now would you be pleased? Wow, that is one dirty ditty, Mo! By Mo,
be entertaining! So there! Anyhoo, the powers-that-Glee really need to remain I mean Madonna, not Kurt.
vigilant with what are good and bad ideas, promotion-wise. So, we best not be
seeing a Quinn-inspired teen pregnancy kit at your local pharmacy anytime Cut. Print. That’s A Wrap!
soon—two pom-poms means you’ll be a mom! Go contraceptives! Glee has a great fictional moral that has spilled into a real-life lesson!
Amber Riley recently said in an interview that more kids are starting up Glee
For Appearances Sake clubs in their schools—see TV is a good influence, unless you are holding fake
The show carries on the fine Hollywood tradition of people who could be in auditions For The Love Of Ray J in the back of your van—then that’s bad! BTW, the
college being tapped to play high school students, not that there’s anything first 13 episodes will be on DVD on December 29.until next time, that’s all of the
wrong with that. That’s why Tinsel Town is a world of illusion, like Ashlee Simp- news that’s fit to print!
December 2009 | RAGE monthly 29
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