Dear John,
Help! I need a level-headed, impartial, King Solomon-level wise man to solve
a “difference of opinion” that I am having with my wife. In order that you may
give us your unbiased ruling I will not tell you which of us have what opinion,
so give us all you got! Here is the situation:
Several years ago we received a small sculpture as a gift from a relative. It ap-
pears to be a commercial product of decent quality based on the retail pack-
aging. While it is not one of a kind it is very unique; we have seen the same or
similar pieces at stores in the Fresno area. One thing that my wife and I both
agree on is that it is not appropriate for display in our home. Frankly, at this
point in our lives, we would feel embarrassed to have our children or other
people’s children see it! For similar reasons we would not display it in our bedroom.
Every year at Christmas time we think about what we should do with this sculpture. We had thought about one of us bring-
ing it to our office for display but decided not to. One thought is to “re-gift” it to one of our friends or co-workers, or even
bring it to the office for the “Secret Santa” grab bag. We also considered selling it on Craig’s List or eBay, but we are afraid that
the relative who gave us the sculpture might find out and be hurt. Another option is to wait again for a few years to see if our
artistic tastes change and align themselves with this piece.
We have made our Christmas lists and checked them twice, but we still do not know what to do with this sculpture. Can you
help us?
Naughty and Nice, Fresno
Dear Naughty and Nice,
Thank you so much for your vote of confidence…I am especially flattered by the King Solomon reference… you meant me,
right?
You have an interesting and not so unusual situation. During this season of giving people are often at a loss in figuring out
what they should give to a specific individual. Impulse buys are a common way that a shopper buys something that has
no purpose and no intended recipient. “It seemed like a good thing to buy at the time.” If shopper’s remorse is not strong
enough to result in returning the impulse buy, somebody is going to find it under their tree. Re-gifting is also a powerful
force, especially among those who cannot bear to throw away a fake bird in a bamboo cage, no matter how hideous it is. The
wrapping paper may be Macy’s, but the gift is all recycled. Sorry James Greene, not all recycling is a win-win situation.
Your sculpture may, in fact, have been one of these kinds of gifts. You and your wife agree on the most important point: do
not display it in the house. So, good for you two on that! It would be a mistake to display it at the office as well since the piece
does not match your artistic style. Similarly, it would be a mistake to use it as a “Secret Santa” gift. People always find out who
brought what gifts, so if you might feel embarrassed for giving it as a gift, do not give it to either your friends or co-workers,
secret or not.
Waiting for another few years is certainly one way of putting off what is certainly an uncertain situation. Have you looked into
the value of the piece or the artist? Is it part of a series? Might it be worth more in a few more years? Your artistic tastes may
change in a few years but your morals and values probably will not. If those issues are the deciding issues on whether or not
you would display the piece then you will probably never be comfortable displaying it. You can try selling it online. If the rela-
tive has not yet made any comment as to the presence or absence of the piece, they may have forgotten about it, especially if
it was a re-gift situation. If they do find out, I am sure that you can explain to them your moral dilemma and the reasons why
you decided to sell it. Do what I do and blame it on the kids. Merry Christmas!
www.fresnoscene.com December 2009 45
Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36  |  Page 37  |  Page 38  |  Page 39  |  Page 40  |  Page 41  |  Page 42  |  Page 43  |  Page 44  |  Page 45  |  Page 46  |  Page 47  |  Page 48  |  Page 49  |  Page 50