W
IT & WISDOM
Y
When Insults Had Wit—And Some Class
ou teach best what you most need A university professor posed an Good teachers are those who know
to learn. examination question in which he how little they know. Bad teachers are
R
Compiled b
ichard David Bach
y Koralras
asked what is the diff erence between those who think they know more than
An exchange between “I h
ignoranc
ave ne
e and ap
ver kille
at
d
h
a m
y. Th
a
e
n, bu
profes
t I
sor
“H
t
e is a self-
hey don’t
m
k
ade m
now.
an and wor-
A pr
Churc
ofessor is one who t
hill and Lady Astor:
alks in
h
h
a
ad to g
ve read m
ive an A+ to a s
any obituar
t
ies wit
udent
h
who
grea

t ships h
Verd
is c
i
reator.”
some
She sa
one else’
id, “If you w
s sleep.
e

re my husband plea
answe
sur
r
e
e
.”
d

: I don’t know and I don’t care.
John Bright
A
I
non
’d gi
ymous
ve you poison.” Clarence Darro
Richard Pratt
w
Education is what remains aft er one has
He said, “If you were my wife, “I’v
forg
e ju
otte
st lear
n ev
n
e
e
r
d
yt
ab
hin
ou
g he lear
t his il
ne
lnes
d in
s.
scho

ol.
T
I
i
’d dr
me is a g
ink it.
rea
”
t teacher, but
“H
An
e h
ex
a
p
s ne
ert is one who k
ver been kno
n
w
o
n to u
ws mor
se a
e
Let’
A
s hop
lbert Einstein
e it’s noth

ing trivial.”
unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
w
and mor
ord that m
e ab
ig
ou
ht se
t les
nd a r
s and les
eade
s.
r to the Irvin S. Cobb
Hec
A member of P
tor Berlioz
arliament d
Nicholas Murr
ictionary.”
ay Butler Experience is a great advantage.
to Disraeli: William Faulkner “H
Th
e is not on
e problem is t
ly du
h
ll
a
h
t whe
imself
n you g
; he is
et
“Sir, you will eit
I li
he
ke a teache
r die on t
r who g
he
ives
(ab
Educa
out E
tion is a pr
rnest He
o
m
g
i
r
n
e
g
ssiv
wa
e d
y)
iscovery
the ca
the ex
use of du
perience, you
llness i
’r
n
e to
othe
o dam
rs.”
ned
gallows or of some u
you somet
nsp
h
ea
ing
kable
to ta

ke of our own ignorance.
Samuel Johnson
old to do anything about it.
disease.”
home to think about
“Th
W

ill Dur
ank you for se
ant
nding me a copy
Jimmy Connors
“Th at depends, Si
besides home
r,” said Dis
wo
rael
rk.
i, of your book; I’ll waste no time “Why do you sit there looking like an
“
Lily T
whet
omlin
her I e

mbrace your policies or read
Exp
i
e
n
r
g
ie
it.
nce is a g
”
ood school, but the
env
I h
elop
av
e
e
wit
nev
hou
er let m
t any addr
y scho
es
ol
s on it
ing inte
?”
rfere
your mistress.” Moses Hadas
fees are high.
Mark T
with m
w
y e
ain
ducation.
Academy: A modern school where Heinrich Heine Mark Twain
fo
“H
ot
e h
bal
ad delu
l is taug
sion
ht.
s of adequacy.” “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent “Some cause happiness wherever
A
W
mbr
alter K
ose Bier
err
ce
a n
Who dar
ice letter sa
es to teach m
ying I appr
u
ov
st
e
ne
d of it.
ver
” the
Educa
y go; ot
tion is not t
hers, when
he an
ever
swe
the
r
y
to t
go.
h
”
e
Mark T
cease to lear
wain
n.
Oscar Wilde
question. Education is the means to
A
“H
n ex
e h
p
a
e
s a
rt is a m
ll the v
an who h
irtues I d
as m
islik
ade a
e and
ll John Cotton Dana the answer to all questions.
the m
none of t
istak
he v
es wh
ices I adm
ich can b
i
e
r
m
e.”
ade, in a
“He has no enemies, but is intensely “H
W
e h
illiam A
as Van G
llin
ogh’s ear for music.”
na
Winston Churc
rrow fi eld.
hill d
A teache
isliked b
r aff
y h

is fr
ects
ie
ete
nds
rn
..”
ity; he can
Billy Wilder TC
Niels Bohr
Oscar Wilde
never tell where his infl uence stops. Anyone can steer the ship when
Henry Brooks Adams the sea is calm.
Publilius Syrus
H
UMOR
“So, this is debt-free living.”
“ Your mother wanted you to have this for “ For Father’s Day, I’m giving my dad an hour
“
good luc
As usual, the emplo
k. It’s her foot.”
yees are the
of free tech support.”
© The New Yorker Collection 2000 Harry Bliss from cartoonbank.com. © The New Yorker Collection 2006 Mike Twohy from cartoonbank.com.
All Rights R
last to kno
eser
w.
v
”
ed.
© Tom Cheney/Condé Nast Publications/www

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.cartoonbank.com
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