4 | November 2009 gayzette

(Nic & The City - from page 3) after barebacking and it will take care of any possible always been full of risk takers. We haven’t had much of
infection. Most of his friends have HIV and they’re OK, a choice. Society has demanded we hide our sexuality,
I made my way to my locker, grabbed a cigarette and he rationalizes. to a fault. But we are equally wise and courageous as
went outside. That was it. And in the same way I began we are dumb and horny. We’ve been to the dark side
all of my adventures with a cigarette, so I ended them. And ask anyone: barebacking porn is more popular and back once before. And I know we can come out of
now than ever. Profits are skyrocketing for production it again. The conversation must start now: in our coffee
‡ ‡ ‡ houses. Almost a third of the porn on display at local shops, in our bars, in every facet of our lives. Danger
adult entertainment stores are bareback features and is staring us right in the face. An entire generation is
If there is any word other than “dumb” to describe my nearly all of the “most viewed” videos on Xtube.com, a coming of age at this very moment and they haven’t a
behavior I am unaware of it. What I did for almost a YouTube-like site for porn, are condomless. clue about the devastation one careless decision can
year is unforgivable and inexcusable. Sure, my mind make.
was playing tricks on me. But I — we — know better. While some speculate a link between the popularity
of bareback porn and a rise in new HIV cases, Jeffery ‡ ‡ ‡
Three percent of all people living in Washington D.C. Parson, a professor of public health at the City University
have HIV/AIDS. The Washington Post reported in of New York, cries foul. When I was barebacking, I was seeking the compassion
March a one percent infection rate is the definition for and companionship I had been denied elsewhere. I’ve
an epidemic like HIV. To put it in perspective, the HIV/ “Condomless porn has been around forever,” he said. never had much luck with love. I thought I could find
AIDS problem in the nation’s capitol is far worse than “It’s not like men have not been able to get access.” it a more intimate connection. But all I found was lust.
that in West Africa. Lust has always come easier, especially in the darkness.
Parson said the Internet has been a vehicle to make But that’s all it was. And when lust runs out, there is
According to the Associated Press, “the highest numbers hooking up easier and has lent a hand to sub-cultures nothing left.
of HIV cases are in population centers like New York of the gay community — like those who exclusively
and California. However, many of the areas with the bareback — to find each other. But he hopes there is a Just like there was nothing left in the eyes of that old
highest concentration of HIV are in the South.” silver lining, too. man at the bath house.

In Colorado 71 percent of all people living with HIV/ “In that kind of anonymous setting, it can be easier to
AIDS and people newly diagnosed are men who have sex discuss each others’ status,” he said.
with men. The national average is 49 percent, Michael
Lee spokesman for Colorado AIDS Project told me. Parson said more research needs to be done on gays
who both have sexual addictions — who like to flirt with
There is some good news for those who fight HIV/AIDS risk — and those gays who have led a relatively risk free
in Denver. New diagnosed cases have stayed steady sex lives.
for most of the last decade. The dramatic spike in new
cases the rest of the country has seen, especially on the “What is it about that 25-year-old that uses a condom
coasts, have mostly eluded the Centennial state. every time and always asks his partner about his status?
We haven’t learned enough from the people are doing
But as Marshall Gourley of Denver Public Health says, fine,” he said.
it’s a give and take.
‡ ‡ ‡
“A big part of the problem is that there are people who
are positive and don’t know they are,” he said. “Some I’d be lying if I said I haven’t barebacked since I left the
people don’t feel the need to get tested for whatever bathhouse. To this day, it’s still something I think about,
reason.” fanaticize about. Hell, my idea of heaven might as well
be one big orgy. But an orgy where I know everyone’s
While Gourley is glad the rates in Colorado have been tested and everyone’s status is negative.
plateaued, he’s worried the message about getting tested
regularly isn’t effective enough in Denver, especially in Since that night, I’ve sought counseling and have
the gay community. limited my risk taking. Since that night, I’ve found
people online who are negative, like me. We talk about
CAP’s Lee echoes Gourley. But he adds a discussion about our status and make a conscious decision. And I, too,
safer sex needs to be in taking place where people aren’t find release in adult arcades where I can fantasize and
using protection. And, he said, the community needs to leave it at that – just a fantasy.
understand skin-to-skin sex is going to happen, but a
solution to reduce the risk while including bareback sex I got lucky. I know that. Damn lucky, in fact. I still don’t
must be found. know how I got out relatively unharmed. I count my
blessing. But I know others have not. This year alone,
“We have to make sure there is a safe space for guys three of my acquaintances have not. All under the age
who have skin-to-skin sex,” he said. A space for them to of 30, they’ve been diagnosed with HIV. And it will not
know different risk levels and weigh whatever benefits stop there.
are possible. “Just telling guys to wear a condom every
time hasn’t worked.” To my knowledge there is not a lively discussion
amongst us fags about how to make wise decisions in
Lee hopes new solutions will grow from the gay this era of easy access. Hell, we can’t even talk about
community itself. “Somebody shouldn’t have to tell our sex lives with our friends anymore. Those vital
me how to behave and how to use my body,” he said. conversations with one another about our sex lives
“The gay community has to take ownership of its sexual have become a thing of the past. Instead gay marriage,
health in this day and age. The playing field is different gay adoption, picket fences and soccer practices for
today.” Medicine has made HIV/AIDS a more tolerable the little ones have been all we can collectively think
disease and the Internet has made access to barebacking about. While I would never begrudge this community
porn and hookup sites easier. dreams-of-grandeur, we cannot allow the fight against
HIV/AIDS to go by the wayside.
A friend of mine who lives in West Hollywood tells me
all he has to do is pop some anti-viral medicine The silence must end. We are a community that has
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