16 | November 2009 gayzette
Holy Shit! Come to think of it I can’t
(Rich’s Rant - From page 8) remember the last time I saw a basket of
condoms . . . in any bar. I knew Charlie’s
Seated across from the individual who had didn’t have any and from what I was later
just pricked my fi nger, the wait was on. He told they haven’t had any regular supply
looked over the form that I had just fi lled out in quite a long time . . . years. Manager of
regarding my sexual history, relationship Charlie’s, John Nelms, said they occasionally
status and risk factor. I had fully divulged, get some from the Planned Parenthood
he knew everything about me. Regardless, across the parking lot. On a rare occasion
I always get the impression these people when they have them, they go quick.
aren’t buying my story — nor should they.
I knew what I needed to do.
Remembering back to visits past, I hadn’t
always been truthful. I had engaged in I picked up Nic (my trusty slave) and
risky (condom-less) sex with multiple informed him we were going for a drive.
male partners, but felt if I was to disclose Together we visited all 21 gay bars in
that information I would somehow be Denver. To ensure every stop was made I
incriminating myself. Besides I wasn’t proud referenced the gay night out section from
of my mistakes. I just hoped I wouldn’t be my own publication. I knew the bathhouses
regretting them (even more) anytime soon. had them. But did any of the gay bars have
a condom basket?
But that was then and this is now. I had
no reason to worry. Still, they always seem As we checked the bars off our list one-
to achieve putting the fear of God in you by-one, our fi ndings became clear. I was
within seven minutes of walking through shocked by the results, but no longer in
the doors. disbelief.
“If your test is positive, do you have a Out of 21 gay bars, only one provides its
plan?” patrons with free condoms: the Denver
Eagle, a bar that came along well after the
“Yes.” I replied. No, I thought. baskets of condoms disappeared. They have
taken it upon themselves to make condoms
“Do you have a family support system in available.
place?”
While I commend Jim and Jimbo, owners
“Yes,” I replied. Like I would ever tell my of the Eagle, for doing what they feel is
mother . . . it would crush her. the right thing to do. I don’t believe it’s
necessarily a bar’s responsibility to provide
I have a wonderful mother who has condoms. It is after all the responsibility of
supported me in everything I’ve ever done. each of us to take control of our own well
To make a very PFLAG statement, in a very being.
gayzette sort of way – she’s proud of her
faggot son! But with that said, I am old enough to
remember a time where you couldn’t walk
But with her pride comes fear. Fear that into any GLBT establishment without seeing
my life will be cut short. Fear that I will die a plethora of condoms. And I personally
before she does. Die of AIDS. feel as a GLBT whole, we should look out
for one another.
Past experiences, possible scenarios, and
random fl ashes of my mother and Michael, With this new information at hand I
my partner, dancing around in my head questioned how many people had reached
all came to a screeching halt with the for a condom from the now defunct baskets?
obnoxious beep of the timer. It had been a I know I had. More importantly, how
long, refl ective 15 minutes. many condoms were used and prevented a
positive HIV screen?
“Are you ready to receive your test results?”
he asked. Tragically I questioned the reverse: how
many infections could have been avoided if
“Yup,” I gulped. a condom had been readily available?
“At this point in time: you are HIV The fact remains that on average, every 9-
negative.” minutes and 30-seconds someone in the
United States is diagnosed with Human
“Thanks!” I left as quickly as I had crept in Immunodefi ciency Virus. And more than
as not to be noticed. As I shut the door to 14,000 people will die of AIDS this year in
my car I let out a gigantic-pent up scream of our country alone.
relief. I had nothing to worry about, but like
I said before, they have this way of making Beginning this month, gayzette will do its
you feel like a Colfax whore. part to help keep the community a little
safer. Condoms will now be distributed
Shaken from the whole experience, I held along with your favorite publication in our
on to the steering wheel just a little tighter bars.
than usual to navigate my way back home.
As I drove I thought about what prompted
It’s here. Project S.H.A.FT.
my HIV screen.
I had a realization, better known as an
Oprah light bulb moment.
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