ing divulged about you, and no edition highlighted move. Because the rumor mill has been working So, my dream of being in the cast isn’t too far off! It
this better than “Jersey.” Faster than you can say, “I was itself into a tizzy before we’ve even had a chance to looks like Jeana Keough will be saying buh bye to the
young and needed the money,” just bear in mind that catch up with the ladies on-screen! But, in the plus show and modern-day ’50s-type homemaker Alexis
while Danielle has said that she doesn’t regret her time category, if you are an attention whore—this would Bellino will say hullo during season five. If she utters
on the show—she probably didn’t figure the out-of- be right up your proverbial alley! First, it was alleged the line, “I’ll just die if I don’t get this recipe,” someone
print book Cop Without A Badge would make her the that the cast (Bethenny Frankel, Jill Zarin, Kelly Kil- might have to remind her she lives in The O.C. and not
Salman Rushdie of her series! Still, it gave the show loren Bensimon, Ramona Singer, Alex McCord and Stepford. Are you one who doesn’t want to give up
that added zip—yeah, like having paprika thrown Countess Luann De Lesseps) began shooting the your opulent lifestyle because of a little ole global re-
into your eyeballs because Teresa’s attempts to get season amid contract negotiations! I think if you cession? Then you definitely want to hang with Tamra
her daughter Gia acting work made me feel skeevy, have “Countess” in your name, you should be able Barney, Lynne Curtin, Vicki Gunvalson and Gretchen
like I was watching Toddlers & Tiaras…in a trench to do the work for free. Then, it was speculated that Rossi. Rather “hang onto” would be the key words, as
coat. And, I was even more confused that I might be Bethenny was feuding with her castmates-on-set, the ladies attempt to do just that in relation to their
viewing another show, say, Jerry Springer with sisters being excluded from a dinner party and having a extravgant lifestyles. And with shopping, dancing,
Caroline and Dina Manzo married to brothers Albert public argument during a New York Fashion Week dining, drinking, plastic surgery and working out
and Tommy Manzo, and Jacqueline Laurita being show. I bet she was with me on Sheree’s garments being their main priorities, I just hope gay men will
sister-in-law to all of them. That “confusion” might surprisingly not being for the Mr. Ed set! Then Alex continue to find them relatable. Yeah, right.
happen on “The Real Housewives of Arkansas,” but said, “We’ve been in production for less than a month
their relationships were all above board…I think. and already the drama is off the charts!” Following Are You for “Real?”
My only complaint was that the season was shorter that was the supposed replacing of Bethenny by Did you figure out if you are made out of the stuff
than Gary Coleman in a ditch (Hey! That’s where your socialite Sonja Morgan mid-season and the former’s that makes a true Housewife? No, I don’t mean sili-
career fell into!), and the unseen footage specials Twitter response that we as viewers are “stuck” with cone! I guess it simply boils down to what the theme
weren’t really that. How come The Real Housewives her, while Bravo then confirmed that she had been song from The Facts of Life taught us—you take the
of New Jersey don’t hold fruit like their counterparts given a spin-off series. But, two new castmates were good, you take the bad, you take them both and
when the show cuts to commercials? Maybe they added to “NYC” after that! And wouldn’t you know it there you have…The Real Housewives! Besides, now
could handle a dead fish wrapped in a newspaper… one of them is Sonja Morgan! The other is a success- we gays do have a shot at Housewives-type stardom
on second thought, no need to add speculation to ful entrepreneur named Jennifer Gilbert. Phew! I’m with LOGO recently announcing that they were do-
Caroline’s “family business.” And now the show has exhausted! Wonder how Bethenny is holdin’ up. And, ing a similar-in-tone show called Kept. Doesn’t that
been given a second season to air in 2010, so there’s you know us gays, we’re not ones to gossip…so you seem repetitive as Real Housewives has plenty of gay
time to rectify that slight. didn’t hear that from me! curb appeal as it is? I think Bethenny Frankel best
summarized that very draw in a recent interview,
New York City orange County where she equated being on the show to attending
Filming recently began on the third season, and if If you are one for originality, then you would want high school. Isn’t that what being gay can seem like
you are not one who likes to be gossiped about, then to make “Orange County” your home, since it was the as times? Figuring what clique you belong to within
you would need to Escape From New York! Yeah, I just first Housewives franchise and there is that whole the community and such. Wow, that was deep! So,
kicked it Kurt Russell old school—so what? freshly squeezed connotation to it. swimming over to the shallow end of the pool—I’ll
It’s that kind of blasé attitude that would help you Besides, The Rage Monthly will be featured in say we like it because we can’t resist a good catfight
circumvent the constant chatter about your every the first three episodes that begin on November 5. and bitchy barbs on a weekly basis.
november 2009 | RAGE monthly 29
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