it’s a girl thing
by henrietta henry
Re-evaluating The hOLIDAyS
Sometimes I really wonder where the holidays themselves, and holiday tradi- thing until a sweet burning smell began wafting throughout the house. I think
tions fit into my life. As I learn more everyday and change as a person it seems like maybe four or five of the cookies survived to edible condition. So this year I’ve
the patterns I’m used to during the holidays don’t have their same…luster. Don’t decided to forego the practicality (or at least that version of practicality) and stick
worry though; this is not by any means some bitter old lesbian rant brought to to the online auction sites and small bouts in the shopping mall mayhem.
you by holiday depression, though. Just a re-evaluation of my lifelong relation- So where is the re-evaluation, you ask? Well, it used to be that the holidays
ship with Thanksgiving dinner, Santa Claus and all that comes with them both. made me thankful for what I’d been given, or what I was able to give. Now, I’m
Let’s take that Thanksgiving dinner for instance. Part of me is like, ah what the thankful for what I (and we) still have. It’s impossible for me to view the world from
hell, I’ll slather butter and any perspective other than
pour gravy onto every inch a global one. I’m learning
of my plate and give the everyday just how much
middle finger to any healthy the human world affects
diet or environmentally the planet we live in, and
educated food decision I how little time there is to
(try to) live by in my day- make changes before the
to-day. Maybe I shouldn’t sh!t hits the fan, so to speak.
worry about my cholesterol That I even have to consider
or the slightly pudgy band things like cholesterol and
encircling my mid-section weight gain are a sort-of a
that my girlfriend likes to blessing, I suppose. There
playfully tease me about. are a lot of folks in other
I tell myself that I have places who won’t ever get
to stick to my guns at all to worry about those
times, including during the things, but not for the right
holidays. That’s all in my reasons. And during the
head though, where things holiday season it’s the very
can be very lofty. In reality, simple things that we prob-
I won’t pass on the butter ably don’t think about that
or the gravy, and will allow I’m thankful for. I get to flip
the carbohydrates and on a light switch and watch
tryptophan to hit me with the twinkly lights of the
the familiar TKO coma on (artificial) Christmas tree. I
that fantastic of November get to run to the bathroom
days. after the spiked eggnog
And then just over three gives my pea-sized bladder
weeks later, Santa Claus a work out. I get to be a les-
will come barging down bian around my family, and
our chimneys to shower us not worry about whether
with all the things on our or not some crazy militia is
list. When I was a kid, my list going to come invade our
was reminiscent of some living room because of it.
ancient religious scroll: long-winded and full of crap. As I got older things got And on top of that, we’ll get to hang out together without having to worry about
simpler, but then came the stress of being older and having to deal with the long bombs dropping in the street outside of our home.
list of things to buy for everyone else. Last year, I thought I’d go against the grain, I suppose it’s easy to take these things for granted. After all, most of us have
be practical and bake treats for everyone on my list instead of buying them crap never lived with poverty the likes that the underdeveloped world has seen. Or
to collect dust. That experience was sort of like Mariah Carey meets Paula Deen, if without plumbing or electricity. Or with war on our land. But these are the things
you can picture that. I got ridiculously dressed up in an adorable Christmas outfit that we still have, and when it’s time to really consider what there is to be thankful
complete with holiday apron and heels, and pranced into my grandmother’s for, these are the things that I, and maybe all of us, should remember.
kitchen thinking I’d look like a 1950s-era holiday commercial. It was my own little
way of getting in touch with the holiday spirit. That holiday spirit lasted all of about
10 minutes before my drunken family tromped into my grandmother’s house and feedback?
itsagirlthing@ragemonthly.com or
blog@ragemonthly.com
caught me; put a cocktail in my hand and pretty much made me forget the whole
26 RAGE monthly | november 2009
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