Pub 2610 p71 bitch 22/10/09 13:29 Page 71
www.thepublican.com thePublican Monday 26/10/09 71
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No s*** Sherlock II
In what at first glance at least appears to
be another case of stating the bleedin’
obvious, a report has been published that
poses the question ‘Does Beer
Consumption Rise In A World Cup Year?’
The document assesses beer sales going
back to 1966 and “although the annual mar-
ket growth figures may have been variable,
there was nevertheless evidence of short-
term peaks that could require careful planning
Having got the rat plastered, scientists
across the whole supply chain, especially at a
predicted he’d feel rough the next day
local level,” says Ian Pressnell, director of
Plato Logic, which publishes the report in
Send your stories and pictures about people in
question. I’m sure it’s packed with all sorts of
pubs to pubbitch@thepublican.com
useful facts and figures but at £250 a pop it
brings to mind – as things like this tend to – a
TV pubs blamed for police woes
No s*** Sherlock I phrase containing the words ‘money’, ‘for’, ‘old’
and ‘rope’…
It’s amazing what people will study in the
As if pubs don’t have a hard enough time of name of science. American scientists have
things in the real world it seems even discovered what most of us worked out on our
Party time at the pubcos
when they appear in soap operas they get own, namely that if you suffer from migraines
a kicking. The latest salvo against the Great there is the likelihood that you are more sus-
Bosses of the UK’s leading pub operators
British Boozer comes from a leading ceptible to hangovers after a night on the
were probably dancing the Dance of the
Scottish copper. Pat Shearer, president of sauce. How did they find out this nugget of
Seven Veils or its on-trade equivalent fol-
the Association of Chief Police (Polis?) the human condition? I’ll tell you how. They
lowing the Office of Fair Trading’s (OFT)
Officers in Scotland, said recently it was no induced migraines in some rats and then got
decision to put the industry on a shelf at
wonder the country was in the state it’s in: them drunk. Yep, a bunch of white-coated
the back of the stationery cupboard and
“It's little wonder we are the way we are. boffins
TM
gave a bunch of rats major
forget about it. Constantly referring to the
You sit down in front of the television and headaches and then took the wee beasties
fact it had been charged with examining
every evening you're effectively in a pub.” out on the lash. The rats with migraines suf-
competition issues as they related to the
Producers of TV soaps such as Eastenders, fered more from exposure to light and pain
consumer, OFT senior director Simon
Emmerdale and Corrie had to recognise that after a boozy session than the non-migrained
Williams took on the chin a suggestion that
the storylines in their programmes had an animals. I’d have thought common sense could
the whole inquiry thing had been a waste
effect on viewers, Shearer opined. True, have told them this, but you can never tell with
of time and money. “That depends on your
some people have problems with alcohol, scientists…
point of view,” said Williams, stoically.
but the portrayal of pubs in soaps is hardly
As far as Williams was concerned the OFT
damaging society, much as films about That’s iNTERTAINment
had given a clear answer to those ques-
vampires don’t have us walking around
tioning the industry’s competitive environ-
with garlic draped round our necks all the John Leslie, erstwhile boss of Regent Inns
ment so we could all go home now. I sus-
bleedin’ time… and now head honcho of the sub-editor’s
pect the celebrations in a couple of pubco
nightmarely-named iNTERTAIN, had a bit HQs went on until the wee small hours of
of an epiphany recently, thanks to his 17- the morning…
year-old daughter. “Looking at how she
enjoys herself turned a bit of a light on,” he
said. “When I was in my late teens we’d be
happy enough sitting in a pub and supping
a few pints. This generation isn’t satisfied
with that. They spend hours a day on
social networking sites and then when
they do go out they go out for a biggie.
They want the best DJs, the best live
bands and the best environment they can
find.” That, Leslie said, is what his new
operation will aim to provide for its cus-
The chief liked fictional coppers to tomers. We assumed that’s what Regent
Pubco bosses react to the news the
show the force in a positive light
Inns had been trying to do all along, but
maybe we missed summat…
OFt will do nothing about the tie
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