« THE bATTLE Of THE SExES
continUed froM Pg. 27
You ‘arrive’ at work and instantly switch your you get my point. Smile, play,
energy from your natural feminine energy laugh and tease, but don’t say
to your decisive and competitive masculine a word. (Remember, talking is
energy out of necessity for your job. There a masculine attribute.) Instead,
is no way a woman could say she won’t be connect with the right side of
attending a meeting because she doesn’t your brain—sensuality, gesture,
‘feel good.’ Instead, she has to put her feelings body posture. When he talks to
aside (which reside in the right hemisphere of you, just look at him while you
her brain) and go to her left, ‘thinking side’ gently stroke your cheek with
to focus on work. And as you may know from one or two fingers, or play with
having read my past columns, thinking is an a string of your hair. Then, try
aspect of the masculine energy! not to laugh when he can no
“We are all men at work”, explains Dr. Pat longer speak because he’s too
Allen, author of Staying Married and Loving entranced just looking at you!
It. In order for a woman to survive and thrive 3.) Be patient. It may take a
in the workplace, she needs to be equally little time for your man to ‘adjust’
conquering and competing as a man. But to the new you. He is used to
when a woman has gotten in the practice of coming home (or arriving on a
doing this day in and day out, with very little date) prepared for battle! If he
time or need for her feminine energy, just tries to engage you in a verbal
where do you suppose that leaves her at the debate, resist. When he sees
end of a long work day?.... he can have a relationship with
Complementary energies between a man you that is not based on words
and a woman are crucial for the harmony of and controversy, but rather on having fun and 5.) Adopt a philosophy that works for both
a relationship. So, how can a woman—living being complementary to one other, he will you and him. I suggest to my clients who want
as a masculine energy woman—possibly be gladly settle in to your new way of being and to live in harmony with their partner to adopt
complementary to a man with a masculine ditch his armor. the ideology of a “covenant relationship.” In
energy?...The answer is, she can’t. In fact, the 4.) Get in touch with your feelings.Without a covenant, both partners voluntarily sacrifice
only outcome of her being in her masculine dumping on your man, tell him how you feel. some of their rights for the good of the
energy while with her masculine energy man Now I know I said no talking, but unless you are relationship, i.e. the feminine energy sacrifices
is competition and confrontation. Does that having a relationship with Australopithecus, her independence, and the masculine energy
sound like the relationships you and your you need to be able to express your feelings sacrifices his irresponsibility. What I like about
girlfriends have been experiencing with the every now and again. The key is doing it the covenant relationship, which, by the way, is
men in your lives? in a feminine and non-threatening way so a legal contract in some states, is that both men
Truth be told, in the battle of the sexes, he is in a receptive place to really hear you. and women have their chosen and assigned
there can be no winner. So here’s some Ask your man if it is a good time for him to responsibilities. As a result, there’s no confusion
tips to help you leave your bravado in the hear you out. If he says ‘yes’, then share your as to who is responsible for doing what and it
boardroom, where it belongs, and slip into feelings with him on the matter. If he says makes the load a lot easier to carry as a couple.
your feminine energy at home: ‘no’, ask him when would be a good time It also sets a consistent tone and helps any
1.) Take five. Take at least five minutes to for the two of you to talk. When negotiating children involved in the relationship to feel
close your eyes and release the tensions of the with your man, say ‘yes’ to what feels good, secure knowing there is ’somebody in charge.’
day. Visualize yourself in a bubble bath (even and ‘no’ to what doesn’t. Be as consistent as In the end, it takes dedication and practice
better if you can actually enjoy one!), empty possible. Complementary relationships create to make any relationship work. But in the
your head of any thoughts and start feeling complimentary conversations—allowing for battle of the sexes, a woman may gain her
your feelings. Let go of your need to control more cooperation and less intimidation. greatest victory simply by surrendering.
and be in control. Simply stated: Change your
thoughts and you change who you are.
fléchelle morin, certified aSr coach, dating to marriage coach &
2.) Be magnetic. Stop ‘doing’ and start
motivational Speaker, is the author of the book, “kissing or no kissing;
‘being.’ Like a moth to a flame, be the
whom will you Save your kisses for? a dating guide to creating your dreams.”
irresistible attraction your man can’t keep
have a question or comment for fléchelle? E-mail her at flechelle@nokissing.
away from! Did you know a moth will burn just
com or visit nokissing.com for more information about fléchelle’s book, dating
to be near a flame?! Ok, so maybe your man
philosophy or scheduling her as a speaker at your next event.
doesn’t need to die to get a feel of you, but copyrighted 2009 by fléchelle morin
28 OCTOBER l MYUNDERTHESUN.COM
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