g3 Magazine October 2009

opinion
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YOUR SAY…
CHILD BENEFITS?
Recent history has seen
signifi cant victories scored in
the gay community’s fi ght for
equal parental rights. Julie Bindel
discusses lesbian mothers.
Isn’t it great to be a lesbian? Would produced evidence that Jenny had been same time, we have refused to apologise for
you change it for the world? Even though living with a woman since the break-up of being ‘different’ but rather have shouted loud
there are a few women who, after sampling her marriage, all bets were off. Although one about the benefi ts of loving women as
the delights of Dorothy, commit the ultimate of her children stayed in touch with her, the opposed to putting up with blokes and their
act of self harm and cross back over to the other was so poisoned by his father’s lies sweaty socks.
dark side, we are on the whole a contented about Jenny that he cut himself off from his Lesbians, for all our faults, are strong,
bunch. The fact remains that those of us in mum altogether. resilient and far braver than most folk,
lezzerland stick at it through thick and thin, Fast forward to 2009 and look at how including ourselves on occasion, give us
often at great personal cost. much we have achieved. In August, a change credit for. Even gay men are starting to show
Don’t get me wrong, every day I wake up in the law was announced which allows us a bit of respect, and we have a few decent
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feeling beyond grateful that I do not live a life lesbian couples who have children together role models coming up through the ranks.
of heterosexual drudgery and am in the through fertility treatment to include both Anyway, back to the subject of children.
happy and privileged position of being one their names on the birth certifi cate. Making Things are far from perfect. During one
of Sappho’s chosen few… But I also it easier for anyone to have their own debate in parliament recently, shadow health
remember how much worse it used to be biological children is not a priority for me, I secretary Andrew Lansley had the nerve to
for us, wherever we lived and however must admit. I would far rather we took on suggest that all couples applying to have IVF
privileged. It makes me proud to think that I the thousands of unwanted kids in so-called treatment should fi rst “produce a suitable
have spent 30 years being part of a ‘care’ than breed our own, but the new father fi gure”. What on earth is one of them?
movement to educate society about legislation is defi nitely indicative of a Still, if lesbians and gay men carry on
same-sex relationships and challenge the fundamental change in attitudes towards us. breeding at the rate we are, we will take
horrendous anti-lesbianism that ruins lives. These changes do not come out of thin over the crèche. Eleven per cent of gay men
My fi rst lesson in how much we were air. Politicians don’t suddenly decide to grant are fathers and 20% of lesbians mothers.
hated was when I witnessed a woman I us our ‘rights’ because they wake up in a I may have been likened to the Child
knew having her two children removed by a good mood. We have forced the changes by Catcher before now, and accused of being
judge, who decided that her violent ex- being radical and unapologetic about what mean about gay breeders, but I still think
partner would make a better parent than and who we are. Some of us even dare that anything we do which defi es
her. Jenny had been a superb mother, and the admit that we are not biologically heterosexual convention and sticks a fi nger
court was ready to give her sole custody of programmed to be lesbians but that we up to the bigots can’t hurt. I bet they wish
her two boys. But when the ex’s solicitor actively choose women over men. At the they were us.
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