The Reiver
The Fashion Police
completely stupid, the effect, where the majority The perfect Cabtan© for comfortable living
It would appear a growing number of councils
suffer for the actions of a minority simply isnʼt
are introducing dress codes for drivers and
right, licences are issued to individuals and
whilst I understand the motives, I think they are
councils can attach conditions to individual
completely mental Moreover, if the taxi trade
licences. Yet what we have is an almost Nazi
accept this then we are all going to go to hell
type of overkill, shooting an entire village
on a handcart rather quicker than expected. because of the actions of a couple of people.
Indeed, I can appreciate a small number of Okay, letʼs see which part of the 1976 act allows
cab drivers are basically walking bags of sh**e, for dress codes. I was struggling a little, but the
I accept some drivers stink to high heaven best I can come up with is section 51 (2) which
and I donʼt particularly want these people appears to only affect private hire bearing the
driving cabs, however, such rules are clearly all-encompassing legend;
unreasonable.
These sublime cabtans© can be worn wherever
“A district council may
you go. Great around the house, or for going
As my brother, much to his amusement, often
out in. A generous cut ensures that it will be
reminds me, during the 1980s I bought and attach to the grant of a
comfortable and easy to wear. The single button
wore a pair of burgundy trousers, he maintains
licence under this section
fastening neck means it is really easy to get
I should have been arrested for crimes against
on or off. The exquisite floral print adds that
fashion, yet these pants were, at least for a such conditions as they
touch of class. Easy fit (one size fits all) and
couple of weeks, the very height of fashion
may consider reasonably
can be worn all year round. £24.99 from Reiver
along with Rick Astley.
Enterprises Ltd.
necessary.”
As Casey has written on numerous occasions
Obviously, any new rules concerning your dress
there are firms in the North East that have How will a council decide if something like a dress
must take into consideration the cleanliness
instigated dress codes for their drivers, these code is reasonably necessary? Well I would
of your clothing; I can therefore suggest the
include Newcastle Airport Taxis, NODA Taxis, have thought a key factor would be a number of
“Cabbie Meal Protector” again from Reiver
the NHDA, Station Taxis (Sunderland) and complaints from the public, bearing in mind the
Enterprises in conjunction with taxi talk
Deans of Gateshead. Their drivers all look very public donʼt generally complain to councils, but
Magazine, all rights reserved.
smart and are a credit to the trade. But these save complaints for either firms or other drivers,
policies were instigated for contractual reasons I canʼt see enough being made to make this the
with other businesses, or the need for the firms, case. How many complaints would it take to make
through competition, to professionalise. Itʼs a such a policy likely, 1 or 100? Could a licensing
purely voluntary thing. officer please write in and tell us?
For a council department to sit down and make Unless of course the insane suggestion
a policy around the dress of drivers is patently comes from the trade, which in certain areas
ridiculous, they may have private hire illegally is probably the case. Is making a policy that
plying for hire with wanton abandon throughout will make every licensed driver adhere to a
their borough, yet this is ignored for the far dress code reasonably necessary in the terms
more exciting formulation of a dress code. Itʼs of the act? I seriously doubt it, the underlying
This full size adult bib is fully machine washable
a little like sitting down and deciding what kind principle of any application is for the council to
and ideal for those busy working cab drivers
of wallpaper you want whilst youʼre on fire. How determine whether the applicant is a ʻfit and
who have dexterity problems and need to eat
many more of these hair-brained schemes are properʼ person, how does a personʼs clothing
on the move. Make sure your licensing officer
we going to accept? affect his fitness and propriety? I imagine and
doesnʼt catch you with a food stained top, thus
can appreciate how turning up in a pair of chaps
allowing him to shoot your family pet, buy one
This brings me to these point systems some and a gimp mask may affect an application,
now from Reiver Enterprises ONLY £19.99p!
councilʼs have developed, how on earth have but wearing a pair of ʻwranglersʼ? I might be
some areas accepted these beauties? For those mistaken here, but doesnʼt the wording of the
As a working cab driver, without any work,
who donʼt know, these points systems work act permit conditions to be attached to the
youʼll know this leads to long periods sitting
in a similar to the one dreamt up by the DVLA grant of ʻaʼ licence, could that mean they are
on cab ranks, imagine the scenario as you
for driving offences, only we attract points for permitted by law to attach a condition to a
gradually work to the top of the rank and find
licensing misdemeanours. You can get points specific individual licence?
yourself, after 3 hours, being caught short.
for such heinous crimes as being in possession
Itʼs a dilemma; do you leave your number one
of a dirty cab, wearing an offensive football shirt I have been racking my brains to think of
position to relieve yourself of a number two? Do
showing Arsenal, West Ham, Man United or appropriate wear for cab drivers, I must take
you sit (no sit I said!) and risk a major soiling
Liverpool logos and wearing jogging bottoms, into account the fact that we have woman cab
incident? Well Reiver Enterprises has come
as well as the far more serious failing to display drivers too and that insisting on stockings and
up with the ideal solution for all cab drivers,
an ID badge. The thought occurs some councils suspenders for woman could be construed as
ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding for
are deliberately making policy against Scousers! sexist. In a flash of inspiration this morning I
cabbynapp© (pictured below and modelled by
found a supplement that fell out of the Sunday
our co-editor Derek Cummins).
I would have thought the body odour off a paper, I therefore have a brilliant suggestion.
smelly driver was far more offensive than a Rather than make rules that ban certain types of
Never lose a fare due to a call of nature again, with
Mackem football shirt. Indeed, in terms of a clothing, how about one rule that states drivers
cabbynapp©, available from Reiver Enterprises for
customerʼs basic needs, whatʼs more important, must only wear a particular type? Brilliant eh?
£60.00 per pack of 60 (one size fits all).
a driver who knows where heʼs going, or a This is one of my better ideas; Iʼm convinced of
driver dressed smart that hasnʼt a clue? Every it. We need to find a single article of clothing that
area has a small percentage of drivers who both men and woman can wear, in comfort and
are the sole reason these barmy policies come will not possibly cause any offence to anyone,
into being; local authorities have a long history ever, except of course those wearing them.
of using the actions of a minority to affect the
majority. Other examples are those owners Well taxi talk Magazine, working in partnership
with a reckless attitude to maintenance causing with Reiver Enterprises Ltd has devised the
increased testing and vehicle age policies best possible solution for the busy working cab
for all licensees in their areas. I find all of this driver, the Cabtan©.
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