So It Goes: Kitesurfing by Jason Love
M
en will do anything for a rush: jump
out of planes, skate on handrails,
ride animals that clearly prefer to be
left alone. Boys will spin in circles until they
black out and collapse.
I live near a kitesurfing area, where
people get their kicks with parachutes that
have already landed. Here I found kitesurfing
expert Alex Porter with his bone-deep tan.
Alex is always taking off for Southern Spain
or Costa Rica or some other place where
the young go to risk their lives. It’s a thin line
between crazy and courageous.
Alex kicks around with his Labrador,
oblivious to things like management meetings
and task forces. He charges by the hour but
doesn’t actually wear a watch. He knows the
hour is up when the next dude arrives. “No problem,” said Alex. “You’re doing
That would be me. great. Grab my harness.”
I myself am not a fan of the wind. To me, Rescuing my board from the rocks, Alex
wind means fussing with your hair or chasing tried again: “Feet in straps. Good. Hurry. Dip
litter or that you’re in Canary Wharf. the kite. Hurry.”
Alex made me wear a helmet, something The kite hauled me out of the water and
the social services people have suggested for for one incredible second I—whoosh. Face
years. He said that if I complained any more, planted.
there’d also be armbands. So it goes. Alex waded after me. “There’s a lot going
Alex explained what all the kite strings do, on here. Don’t get discouraged.”
and while I didn’t understand, I did write down The truth is that I did not, technically
his words in the order that he said them. Then speaking, kitesurf that day. Alex had done all
I failed the follow-up quiz. that a man could do without being sainted.
The first two sessions took place on At the van, he threw me a towel that smelled
sand, where I spent some quality time on my like Labrador.
backside, then finally graduated to the sea. If I “I think you’ll go a long way,” he said.
could explain the feeling in one word, it would “Really?”
be “brrr”. The ocean looks so much warmer “Yeah, because you’ve got a long way to
from the car. go.”
If you water-ski, you know about the Alex then charged the ocean and didn’t
trapped-in-a-toilet starting position. The come back till the sun turned gooey on the
difference here is that you’re in charge of the horizon. I asked him what it was like, and he
boat, which happens to be ripping through just smiled. That’s the problem with words:
the sky, and there is “Jaws” music. They limit you to what you can talk about.
Alex plunked down the kiteboard, and I I plan to try again when I regain the
had two seconds to get situated before the feeling in my extremities. In the meantime I’ll
next wave swallowed me whole. stick with mastering the lingo. Later dudes.
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