m usic//film//girls //to
T`]\aT Quiz
ys//fashion//reviews//news//music//film//gir

Are you an
Optimist
or a pessimist?
Do you always look on the bright side
or are you resigned to the worst?
Your girlfriend is late home. Your girlfriend hasn’
What goes through your mind?

a) Oh no! She’s met someone else!
b) I hope she gets here before her a) Send a text to say sorry
dinner gets cold.
!
t spoken
to you since this morning.
What do you do?
.
b) Nothing – she’s probably just
c) She’s probably been busy planning a surprise party for me!
buying me presents. c) Book a fl ight to New Zealand.
It’s obviously over forever.
The phone rings at 2am.


What is your fi rst thought? Where will y
a) I hope I can get back to sleep.
b) Someone’s been in an accident! In a bo
c) Maybe it’s the hot girl I pulled
last weekend! "
ou be in fi ve years?
a) Hopefully, promoted.
b) x.
c) Rich and famous!

You have to undergo a physical
in order to register with a new Scores:
doctor. How are you feeling? 1) a) 1 b) 3 c) 5
a) Terrible – I’m convinced this 2) a) 3 b) 1 c) 5
spot on my chin is cancerous. 3) a) 1 b) 3 c) 5
b) Fine. I just want to get it 4) a) 3 b) 5 c) 1 You’ve planned a picnic, but
over with. 5) a) 3 b) 1 c) 5 the forecast says it may rain.
c) Really excited! I bet I’ve lost 6) a) 5 b) 3 c) 1
7-12: Pessimist
loads of weight lately! 7) a) 1 b) 5 c) 3
Lighten up, Eeyore!
13-21: Realist:
#
What do you do?
a) Don’t worry – it won’t rain.
b) Hold the picnic near a pub so
you can dive in if it rains.
Life has its ups and downs, and
c) Call the picnic off – everything
you’re sensible enough to is ruined, as usual.
realise this.
What’s your motto?
22-35: Optimist: a) “Life’s a bitch and then you die.”
Have you been taking b) “Don’t worry, be happy.”
12
something you shouldn’t? c) “You win some,
$
you lose some.”
G
O
SSI
P

Persistent gossip about Kelly Clarkson’s quite liked trying to ‘convert’ lesbians.
sexuality has apparently ruined the singer’s
love life. Kelly, who has been single for some Katie Price has reacted to her split with

w
h
ore
time, says that potential male suitors are put Peter Andre by checking out the other team
off by rumours that she is actually a lesbian. for a bit. The busty star was seen emerging
Peaches Geldof was spotted holding Hmm. Last time we checked, most blokes from a lesbian and gay sex shop whilst on
LE
hands with pal Olivia Singer at holiday in Ibiza. Later on, she allegedly
NG
Bungalow8 club in Covent Garden before
Peaches Geldof
approached an attractive woman in a club
T
E
DI
T
the pair headed back to Olivia’s hotel. Ms and fl irtatiously informed her of her desire
L
O
Geldof was also seen recently in a clinch with for some lesbian action, before drunkenly
an unnamed girl at an LA tattoo parlour. Her removing the woman’s top.
CHAR
Sapphic shenanigans have now begun to
S BY spark some interest from Beth Ditto, who Li-Lo watch: Lindsay’s was recently
D
R
says she is keen on teaching Ms Geldof a snapped knocking on Sam’s door at 3am,
WO thing or two about being a dyke… Oo-er! but her ex failed to materialise. Oh dear!
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