No Bones About It
Book Chats
YOUR GUIDE TO HEALTH AND WELLNESS
Novel Picks and Passions
Dr. Peter J. Stumpf
By Anna Katsavos
Exercise with Consistency
On Beauty by Zadie Smith
and Persistency
“You are not a little woman, are you?”
Believe it or not, there are things in this world that are addictive and good for
Going over it later, Kiki could not completely account for her own response to this
you. Exercise is one of them. It truly provides you with more energy and a sense
question. Her gut had its own way of going about things, and she was used to its
of accomplishment. The problem is that too often we try to overdo it. In a world of
executive decisions; the feeling of immediate safety some people gave her, and, con-
instant gratification, we are used to getting things now if not sooner, and the thought
versely, the nausea others induced. Maybe something in the shock of the question, as
of waiting for results is unfathomable. How many crash diets have you begun just to well as the warmth of it, and the apparently guileless nature of the intention behind
“get started”? How many times have you begun an exercise plan by trying to up and it, impelled her to respond in kind—with the first thought she had.
run three miles on the first day because you used to be able to? “Uh-uh. Ain’t nothing small on me. Not a thing. Got bosoms, got back.”
Let’s face it; aside from exercising for the health of it, we often exercise simply
because we want to lose that last 10, 20 or 30 pounds we’ve put on over the course Zadie Smith’s latest novel On Beauty (2005) is the perfect pick for this issue
of, well, living our hectic lives. And we want to do it quickly, so we start too much, of The North Shoreian, which focuses on health and beauty matters. Nominated
too soon, and inevitably stop and begin beating ourselves up because we are not do-
for the Man Booker Prize, England’s most sought after literary award, Smith’s third
ing what we know we ought to.
novel asks us to consider important questions about aesthetics. What is beauty? Is
Everyone knows that it is better to be active and moving around rather than liv-
it intrinsic or culturally assigned? Does art make life beautiful or does life produce
ing a sedentary lifestyle. Benefits range from the positive physical impact exercise
beautiful art?
has on your body to the mental stress release it can provide as well. Just like that
Such are the inquiries that fuel the academic rivalry between the liberal-think-
old car in the garage (that you have every intention of restoring) will need a major
ing Englishman Howard Belsey (who comes off as a dead white guy, but doesn’t
overhaul after not running on the road for an extended period of time, so will your
know it) and his nemesis, the ultra-conservative, Trinidadian Monty Kipps. Teaching
body without motion and activity. Joint pain, stiffness, decreased range of motion,
on opposite sides of the Atlantic, these two Rembrandt scholars hurl insults at each
and degenerative changes will inevitably be the end result of a sedentary lifestyle.
other the way boys fling burgers at a freshman food fight. Not pretty. Less attrac-
Are you convinced yet? Great. So how does one start a program that is sustainable?
tive is their face to face combat when Kipps accepts an invitation to teach art at the
Starting the right way is often the only way to incorporate an exercise program
Massachusetts campus where Belsey is struggling to restore his recently blemished
that continues to be successful, and therefore, beneficial in the long run. The best
reputation. (Professor Belsey likes pretty girls too much). Academic posturing
way to implement an exercise program that you will sustain is to do it slowly, so that
quickly escalates into a messy, personal war that, with epic proportions, ensnares the
the plan can be gradually built and will fit into your lifestyle. If you have to get up
combatants’ colleagues, wives, and even children. Issues of race, class, gender, and
at 5:30 every morning to make the train, it is not realistic to believe that exercising
everything else political, from views about NBC’s The West Wing to Bush’s WMD,
before work will work. You must think about your own lifestyle. After all, gym
become fair game for the huge cast of characters who are satisfyingly fleshed out and
whose voices are as distinct as their musical tastes, which range from Mozart to Len-
memberships are useful only if you use them.
non, from Hip Hop to Gangsta.
Don’t make exercise something you fit in only if you have the time. Think about
While Howard and Monty are busy waging ideological battles over what is beau-
it as something it really is, something that is vital to your health and well-being.
tiful in art, their wives discover the beauty of female friendship. Kiki Belsey, a
Start by setting aside twenty minutes a day and build from there. Even if you only
hefty, African American non-intellectual, former activist and now mother of three
walk around the block once for a ten-minute span, it’s a start. Do that three days in a
mixed-raced young adults, serves as the moral center of the novel. Her generous
row and by then you’ll feel like doing more.
proportions (see excerpt quoted above), ooze with kindness and compassion, making
Make it convenient to work out. My wife and I realized soon after we had our
her the most attractive character of all. No, ain’t nothing small about her. Her gut
first child that our gym memberships were collecting dust and we were throwing
response to beauty--anything or anyone that emotionally moves her-- immediately
money away. We became realistic about our time limitations. Wasting 10-15 min-
endears her to us, and, not surprisingly, to Lady Charlene Kipps, wife of Howard’s
utes each way back and forth to the gym was only lessening the amount of time we
arch-rival. Charlene’s “sprightly laugh, more youthful than her speaking voice,” and
had to actually exercise. We invested in a treadmill and nautilus and set up a gym in
her deep belief that “There is such a shelter in each other” pave the way for a mean-
the basement. It is convenient and a huge time saver.
ingful connection between these two forceful women. (E. M. Forster fans familiar
Finally, it is essential that you begin at an appropriate level as determined by
with Howard’s End will no doubt recognize Smith’s literary nod to her predecessor,
your current fitness. Exercising carries many different levels of ability, and finding
whose famous dictum, “Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be ex-
yours is an important step to ensure you are getting the most from your workout
alted, and human love will be seen at its height” is echoed throughout Smith’s story.
without overdoing it. Knowing how to assess your target heart rate will enable you
But, no plot spoilers here.
to monitor your progress effectively. A simple way to do this is to subtract your
Smith sets her narrative mostly at Wellington College, an elite (fictitious) liberal arts
age from 220, which will give you an estimated maximum heart rate. This number
institution in Boston’s suburbs. (Hm… sounds to me a lot like Harvard, where the
should then be multiplied by 50% for your low-end number and 85% for your high- author spent time as a guest lecturer). Deftly juxtaposing the campus bubble with
end number, thus giving you your target heart range. For example, someone who is the colorful culture of the neighboring streets, Smith has students with expensive
35 years of age will have a target heart range of 93-157 beats per minute. To take iPods rushing to hear Spoken Word poets while Haitian immigrants are selling boot-
your pulse during a workout simply place the tips of your index and middle fingers leg DVDs. She lets these two worlds collide, leaving readers to ponder the reasons
on the inside of your wrist on your other hand just below the base of your thumb, and the consequences of such clashing. Smith’s dialogue, be it Southern gentility or
count the number of beats for 10 seconds, and multiply by 6. As a beginner you academic pomposity, is right on, at times LOL funny, at times bluntly truthful, but
want to start out in the lower end of your range and slowly work up to your upper
always keenly authentic.
end.
On Beauty is the ideal summer read—a comic, absorbing, and thoroughly entertain-
An alternative, but less accurate, way to see if you are maintaining this range is
ing tale—443 pages that leave you wanting more. In a culture such as ours, obsessed
to use the talk test. If you can perform the activity and carry on a conversation you
as we are with physical beauty, Smith’s satiric novel demands that we reexamine our
are not working too hard. If you can sing while you are doing the exercise, then you
notions of what we deem beautiful, both inside and out. Yes, we talk the talk about
are not working hard enough. This target heart range is a great way to see if you are
beauty being skin deep and in they eye of the beholder, but like Howard, we are
working hard enough to maximize your exercise benefits.
sometimes blinded by Madison Avenue bling. This book reminds us to stop wor-
Starting an exercise plan may be easier than you think. Start small, don’t overdo
rying about looking beautiful and instead take a nice long, appreciative look at the
it, and make it an activity that you enjoy, and soon you’ll be experiencing that extra
beauty and the beautiful that surround us.
energy and sense of well-being that’s been missing from your day.
Dr. Anna Katsavos, Professor of Literature and Women’s Studies at Nassau Community
Dr. Stumpf owns Sunshine Chiropractic, a family practice located on Route 25A
College for over 20 years, is currently facilitating writing workshops and book discus-
in Miller Place. He can be contacted through his website –
sion groups on Long Island, and working on her memoir, The Kitchen and the Church:
www.sunshinechiropractic.net.
Notes of a Good Greek Girl Gone Bad. Email her at bookchats@gmail.com.

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