ness of it all. The many members of the media who were in attendance were unfazed But there are options for the richest Medicatopian “equals.” Everyone knows
by this breach of protocol: this is just the way things were in Brookhaven Town Hall Canadians drive to America for real health care. But in a fabulous irony, Cuba’s doc-
and the unspoken expectation was that it was just an extension of the Brookhaven tors have mastered operations that European socialist states won’t perform. Eurotour-
Town Republican Club. When I called Rick Brant, Newsday reporter, the follow- ists flash cash and get limitless health care. But Cuba’s poor? Nothing. Literally, not
ing day, he was understandably incredulous, but easily verified the story by speaking even aspirin! As one Cuban doctor privately confided, “The government doesn’t give
with one of his colleagues who had been in attendance. He reported it in his column a s**t about the poor.” Talk about sick-o.
the following Thursday. Meanwhile, Americans rarely wait for anything. Our survival rates are signifi-
The stunning difference in Mark Lesko’s leadership is his willingness to go cantly better in virtually every aspect. Expensive? Sure, but frankly, we can afford
beyond party lines to establish a Town government whose hallmark phrase is “for the it. It’s the best care in the world and almost no-one gets turned away. Not so in
people”. During his campaign, Mark introduced himself as someone who hoped to Medicatopia, where faceless bureaucrats sparingly allocate care and waiting lists are
be elected to be Brookhaven’s “citizens’ advocate”. He reached across party lines
measured in months, even years. Canadians may wait over 4 months for gynecologi-
first to his former opponent, Tim Mazzei, thanking him for his help in developing
cal procedures or 6 months for cancer treatments. The British might wait a year for
plans for handling upcoming issues that the Town will have before it. Mr. Mazzei
almost anything. Let’s hope you don’t stub your toe in Malmo, Sweden, where armed
graciously left his seat and reached out to Mr. Lesko with a handshake that had the
guards keep grumpy clinic patients quiet during endless waits and prevent new pa-
crowd up on its feet cheering. I was seated beside a former opponent of mine, and we
tients from entering when it’s full. That’s right. Armed guards keep you from getting
both clapped with equal vigor and appreciation. That handshake did not signify that
health care. Revoltingly, Medicatopian bureaucracies heavily ration life and death.
differences do not exist among the various parties that are represented in govern-
Are you too old, too sick, or statistically unlikely to survive? You’re denied. Even the
ment, but rather that the varying points of view can come to the table and contribute
notoriously liberal World Health Organization estimates that over 25,000 Brits died
to a dialogue that makes government stronger and more accountable to the public.
unnecessarily. Last year.
Mark Lesko further demonstrated his commitment to bi-partisanship by choosing
So this is the Medicatopian promise: Patients die because cures are too expen-
Councilwoman Kathy Walsh as his Deputy Supervisor. Mrs. Walsh is an experi-
sive. Dental patients pull their own teeth. The sick are denied cures because of their
enced public official, who understands the needs of her community and has shown a
age. Medical care lotteries, filthy hospitals with unqualified staff, operations can-
willingness to put good government over politics in meeting those needs. The mem-
celled because beds aren’t available. Patients die because operations, drugs and care
bers of the audience applauded her warmly and welcomed the partnership established
aren’t provided in time. Doctors are fired because there’s not enough money to pay
between her and Mr. Lesko to lead Brookhaven Town.
them.
We have come a long way in Brookhaven Town and will continue to work to
The world’s Medicatopians often snootily bicker over who’s more fashionable,
make it the people’s town. We have an upcoming election this November that will
sophisticated, who makes better wine, who hates Americans more, yap, yap, yap…
determine the makeup of the Town Board for the next two years. It is important that
but they all share a government-run health care system that’s an unambiguously
we inform ourselves about the issues and the quality of the candidates. Attend the
hideous failure. Yet social architects who forced millions into misery, pain and death
debates and read the literature. Please pay attention. It cannot be acceptable that any
cling to Medicatopian health care as if it were a prize. What they need is a good,
level of government think of itself as an exclusive club, and an informed public is
swift kick. Say... my toe feels better already!
the greatest deterrent to that kind of cronyism. Every one of us needs to hold on to a
sense of outrage when the public trust is violated, and we must be willing to speak
Known for biting wit, Tom has left people laughing, crying, angry, but always think-
out against it. There is too much at stake to do otherwise.
ing about the issues. Beneath Tom’s ironic style, lies deep theoretical detail. It is not
uncommon for readers to finish a Tom Adkins piece saying, “This is what I wanted to
say, but I didn’t know how to say it.” Until they read it! For more about or to contact
Tom please be sure to visit
www.commonconservative.com.
LipoAd4_875x6_625:Layout 1 6/2/2009 12:06 PM Page 1
Conservative Conscience
Conservative Political Commentary
by Tom Adkins
Medicatopia - Hell on Earth
Why am I playing basketball at 51, with a bunch of kids half my age? Because
I’m a stupid white guy with a good jump shot. I just can’t quit. Thus, on Monday
night, I was accidentally kicked by a 300 pound guy whose DNA tests might reveal a
Clydesdale in his parental lineage.
So I wander into the local emergency room at midnight, whip out my insur-
ance card and sign some papers. Ten minutes later, an X-ray tech wheels me to his
lead-lined lair. Bzzzzt! Whirrrr! Thunk! Done. Next, a brief stint in the holding pen
with the other ER unfortunates. After a half-hour of clumsy flirting with nurses and
chillin’ with the security guard, watching ESPN, I had my answer: a badly hurt toe.
Badda-bing.
Of course, on my way home, my mind wandered…what would happen if I were
to hurt myself in Sweden? Or Canada? Or France? Or wherever they enjoy that
“Medicatopian” freebie health care that Democrats can’t wait to shove up our…
uh…down our throats? I dunno. But I can tell you what would happen if I should
have cancer in Canada, or a broken leg in Sweden, or a toothache in Britain: I’d be
screwed. How bad? Oh, I have stories…
Bad habits aren’t solved with a quick fix. They’re solved with
Britain’s Mavis Skeet had cancer surgery cancelled four times. Meanwhile, it
private training in a private studio. At Fitness Together you’ll
became inoperable. She died. Fellow Brit Alice Mahon lost her left eye because the
get a workout designed with surgical precision for you and
National Health Service dawdled on approving Lucentis, an FDA approved medicine
for the treatment of wet age-related macular degeneration. Eight-year-old Australian
you alone. And a certified personal trainer who will push you
Kyle Inglis lost 50% of his hearing while waiting 11 months for an operation that
just hard enough to get the results you’ve been looking for.
would remove the offending tumor. Ontario’s Sylvia de Vires suffered a 13-inch
Not to mention the immeasurable health benefits of actually
ovarian tumor weighing 40 pounds. When Canada wouldn’t help her, a Pontiac,
earning your new buff bod.
Michigan surgeon stepped in with days to spare. My fave story? Sweden’s Görann
Persson waited eight painful months for hip surgery. For decades, his Social Demo-
crat party proudly blared their “equal access to health care!” slogan. Now, Persson
Fitness Together
was Prime Minister. He didn’t dare “jump the line.” He rightly suffered greatly. A
156 East Main Street
taste of his own medicine!
Port Jefferson, NY 11777
But aren’t medicines cheaper in Medicatopia? Sure, because they’re rationed. In
631-473-8200
fact, expensive medicines are usually outlawed. Problem is they are often the only
things that work. Same goes for medical technology and specialists. Uppsala, Swe-
den has one mammography specialist for 200,000 citizens. One. And it’s often illegal
to pay for care on your own.
Northshoerian JuneJuly 2009.indd5 5 6/16/2009 1:13:00 PM
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