someone for a long stand or a short weight, to kill two dogs with one bullet. However, the one of my youngsters came up and after a
well sailors have taken this to a whole new funniest that I ever saw was when one member couple of pleasantries I pointed out to him that
level. In order for an aircraft to practise fi ring of the ships company took offence that this was the depth of water where we were was four
against a ship we carry a splash target onboard. going to go ahead and not only boycotted all
thousand metres. He asked how I knew this so
It is made from half a dozen pieces of four by practise sessions but also put in a complaint
I explained that the bow wave wasnʼt cresting
two that have three scoops fi tted at one end. that it shouldnʼt be going ahead. As soon as
until it was four metres away from the ship thus
When it is towed behind us the scoops create he started to make himself heard about this
the depth of water is four thousand metres,
a waterfall effect that is large enough for an inhumane and barbaric “sport” those original
simple. He was fascinated by this new piece
aircraft to attack. The bite comes in when the “nibblers” were told it was a bite and we carried
of knowledge and off he trotted as happy as a
sailors are rigging the ropes and wires ready on long enough for him to make his complaint
sand boy. It never really crossed my mind to
for it to be towed. The newest members of
tell him that I had just come from the bridge and
the shipʼs company are taught how to steer
was somewhat surprised to fi nd out that the
the target away from the incoming shell and
are given a full safety brief. The amusing part
“Know
Indian Ocean has a fairly fl at seabed all the way
across at four thousand metres, give or take. It
comes once they have been briefed and are
wasnʼt until about a fortnight later and long after
practising dodging water balloons whilst all the
time being soaked with fi re hoses. Another
Gunnery,
I had forgotten our conversation that he came to
favourite is “Bunk Light Bills”. After a couple
me in a bit of a state. Having a duty of care over
of months at sea a list of monies owed to the
crown comes out with the newest and/or most
Know Life,
him I asked what was wrong. The language that
he used would have made a trooper blush as
gullible with a far higher bill than everyone else.
he explained that he had been on watch on the
In the fortnight before bills are due to be paid
then they will try and keep their bunklight off all
No Gunnery,
bridge when the Navigating Offi cer came up and
asked the offi cer of the watch what the depth
the time which can be diffi cult when there are
of water was. Youngster leapt up and without
44 others following you around and switching
No Life”
further ado said: “Iʼll get it sir!” and ran out onto
it back on. Some people even wake up with it
the bridge wing. Four thousand metres he said
on. Some bites are only average in reaction
with total confi dence just as the offi cer of the
but every now and again someone comes along
watch said the same thing. The navigatorʼs
and is taken in hook line and sinker. “Malta formally to the captain. He was of course
curiosity got the better of him and he asked how
dog” is a not so well used term for a case of the dressed in his best bib and tucker and the old
youngster had found out. Wishing only to show
“West African Quick Step”. man asked suffi cient questions to ensure that he
off his new skill he took both offi cers out onto
had bitten. At this point he was told that it was the bridge wing and showed them. Apparently,
However, if a ship is visiting Malta then a chit a wind up. I would have liked to have seen his it took them ten minutes to convince him that he
comes out requesting members of the shipʼs face but hey ho… had bitten. It still makes me smile.
company to go on a Malta Dog Shoot. This
in itself is quite funny watching twenty people I was stood the other day looking out to sea ʻtill next month aye…
getting dressed in combat gear and practising and a million miles away, it was lunchtime and
fl ushing out techniques as well as humane ways I had nothing on. Lost in my own little world Copyright Gary McCulloch 2009
37
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