Time 4 Me, February 2009 11
ADVERTISEMENTBehindcloseddoors
One of the devastating side effects of domestic
violence –defined as threatening behaviour,
violence or abuse between adults in a
relationship –islow self-esteem and shame
that prevents people seeking help.
Morethan two women die each week as aresult of
it, in fact it is the leading cause of death for women
aged 19 to 44. However,men areaffected too. And
it is not just confined to heterosexual relationships.
Emotional as well as physical acts of violence –constant
put downs and insults, or shouting aggressively –chip
away at the victim’sconfidence. This can erode
somebody’swill to get help, and their sense that they
deserve it. Enforced togetherness during public holidays, like
To break the vicious circle takes courage, but knowing Christmas and New Year,can highlight flaws in
that you can get fast, confidential help and be safe while relationships and lead to acrisis.
you aretaking legal steps, is reassuring for anyone The current credit crunch does not help. Financial
wondering if they can risk taking action. problems increase stress, and that is when arguments
In order to refrain your partner from abusing you further, can escalate from small-scale bickering to something
it is essential that you obtain an injunctive order from a moreworrying.
family court and Glazer Delmar’sFamily team will be If one partner loses his or her job as aresult of the
morethan happy to assist you in doing this, attending economic downturn, they will start to feel less
court with you, representing you beforeadistrict judge, confident and those feelings of inferiority can lead to
obtaining the court order and having this order correctly other problems and aloss of balance in the
served. relationship.
Domestic violence costs an estimated £23bn ayear,but But support is available from the moment you make a
it’sstill ataboo subject in many communities.People decision to change your life. For example, reporting
fear speaking out will lead to the loss of their home and the abuse to the police and to your doctor now can be
their children. done confidentially.
Victims also often imagine they have brought it on If you have to leave your home because you are
themselves by some facet of their behaviour.And if they frightened your partner will be violent to you and your
have children who arewitnessing the arguments and children, going to arefuge is another option.
physical violence, that adds to the damage.
Refuges have secret addresses to protect people who
have violent or abusive partners. Youcould move back
into your home after your partner has left.
Glazer Delmar is experienced in dealing with domestic
violence cases. Our team can advise you, taking
account of your circumstances, of the best way
forward.
Life is too short to live in fear.
Contact: Asha Sumputh, Head of Family &
Relationships Department, Glazer Delmar Solicitors
223-229 Rye Lane, London SE15 4TZ.
Telephone 020 7639 8801
OR our 24 hour domestic violence emergency helpline
on 07852 411 543
Email familyandrelationships@glazerdelmar.com● Author of report: Vijaya Sumputh
TIME 4 ME 011 Feb 2009
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