ting out colorful letters from assorted of. With slight hesitation she cracked
periodicals only to arrange them in a open the piñata, which contained sun-
way that would elicit an “aw” from dresses, hats and tickets to the Just
someone. My first admirer was Janet Ducky Tours.
Scarfington. A typical admirer would
send cliché scarf after cliché scarf to Sure they never know who I am, and
win her heart, but I’m no typical ad- sometimes it’s hard not revealing
mirer. Using my expert cross-stitching myself. Sometimes I ponder send-
abilities, I stitched a portrait of Janet ing a follow up correspondence to
winning the coveted “Scarf Wearer of these people, but stop myself when
the Year” award. The stitching wait- I recall the number one tenant of
ed for her outside of her apartment. A.D.M.I.R.E.R.S: Do not dwell on a
Needless to say, it stole her breath young lass. Move on and bring sun-
away and no admirer has been able shine to a stormy life.
to top it yet.
Next time flowers, a kitten, puppies,
Jennifer Cramden was also one of my or sweet candies filled with diamonds,
special admirerees. Admirers worked think of the guild of A.D.M.I.R.E.R.S
for months trying to win her over, but that serve to make the unhappy
to no avail. I love the challenge of swoon and become hot with the fever
love, though. She lived to work and of passion.
spent every one of her days in a busi-
ness suit, hair in a bun, making sure
people were stuffing piñatas properly.
She was the QA of the largest piñata
maker east of the Mississippi. To melt
her heart, and loosen those muscles, I
sent her a piñata and aluminum base-
ball bat. The piñata took the form
of pantsuits that barely changed out
47
ENTERTAINMENT
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