COLUMNIST – COPY CLASS
Stock is schlock
HERSCHELL GORDON LEWISis not happy with images in ads
which barely relate to the product or service being marketed.
I’m looking at a space ad in an strategies.’
advertising publication, for a Enough of that. I was too
Illustration
But you can.’
Yeah, I’d like to change
company that markets . . . what? all-in to bother finding out more.
should agree
‘proactive’, my second least-
The ad shows a stack of favourite word. (In first place:
poker chips. The heading: Off into the jungle
with what we
‘paradigm’.) In ancient 20th
‘Are Your Customers All-In?’ Here’s another advert, in
The first line of text: another marketing magazine.
are selling,
century times we called such
aberrations ‘Hucksterisms’.
‘Like a set of aces in the The heading:
hole, a strong online brand will ‘Thirsting for deeper
not with
A headline might say:
‘We’ll stand on our heads to
give your customers the information on B-to-B marketing?’
headline copy.
please you.’
confidence to go all-in.’ The illustration is a stock photo The illustration would be
OK, repeat – the company of a man, mouth agape, holding people standing on their heads.
markets . . . what? an empty water bottle. A headline might say:
Adverts such as this typify a Yuck. ‘It’s a piece of cake.’
ghastly and apparently unending On into the same magazine, The illustration? Ah, how
trend toward noncommunicative another advertiser. Black full bright you are to envision a
self-approval. How do I give my bleed (of course) page, all type piece of cake.
customers the confidence to go reversed (of course).
all-in? And what is all-in? The heading: A necessary rule
The text continues: ‘The Player.’The picture is a The Illustration Agreement Rule
‘Your brand will build such stock shot of a man in a white was valid then, and it’s
value and trust that your dinner jacket. He looks grim. He super-valid in this era of
customers will be eager to holds a cigar, aimed outward shortened attention spans:
cash in.’ weapon-like. Illustration should agree with
Huh? First line of text: what we’re selling, not with
Purely because of ‘He is smart. He is headline copy.
annoyance – and maybe that manipulative. He has his eye on May I make a modest
was the reaction this ad was something that you have and he proposal for the year 2009,
gunning for – I went to the knows how to get it . . . his way. a year in which any logical
advertiser’s website, a listing Play the game right and you’ll prognostication is that
that was the only clear wording win him over.’ attention-spans will continue
in the advert. On the web I had Another advert, in a fund to sink and obfuscation will
to scroll down for information, raising publication. Another continue to contribute to
because the opening screen stock shot, this one of a man those sinkings?
wasn’t much help: leaping into the air. The heading: Just for this one year, don’t
‘Need to rejuvenate your ‘Exceed your expectations.’ use stock shots as your key
current brand? Creating a new (I really didn’t have any illustration and don’t ignore the
brand? We can help.’ expectations . . . ) Illustration Agreement Rule.
Oh? How? Scrolling down Yet another, this one in a That way, you can stay in
provided a clue: high-circulation business business for the whole year,
‘A unique marketing agency magazine. The illustration is a which will make it possible for
offering custom web design and stock shot of a jellyfish. us to have a lovely re-visit as we
branding services . . . The headline: enter the year 2010.
differentiating our company ‘Jellyfish are mostly
from traditional ad agencies, passive drifters.’
web design companies and Text doesn’t
Herschell Gordon Lewis is the
principal of Lewis Enterprises,
graphic design firms through disappoint those of us
Pompano Beach, Florida,
our ‘marketing first’ focus, who expect nothing. through which he is available as
which is infused into our custom It begins:
copywriter, consultant and
website design, brand ‘They can’t
speaker. Mr Lewis’ latest book
is his 31st. Phone him: +1 954
rejuvenation process and our proactively 782 1750, or visit his website:
innovative marketing change direction.
www.herschellgordonlewis.com
www.dmi-news.com January/February 2009 23
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