Do what comes naturally Women excel at building relationships, generally speaking. You’ve probably started a conversation or two on the line at the grocery store or movie theatre. Well, take that openness, connection and problem-solving abili- ties that women are famous for and bring it into your ne- gotiations.
Bring the same enthusiasm and curiosity you have for learning the couples’ fun facts, like how he proposed, to your negotiations.
Meeting Objections Imagine this. You’re having a lovely conversation with a potential bride and she’s almost ready to say yes when she says the two words that strike fear into your heart: you’re expensive. What can you do?
Don’t start thinking about lowering your price. Lowering your price is the last option and can only happen when you know there’s long term value for you in the future. Like she has four younger sisters! Because when you discount your prices, brides start to discount you.
Start exploring her reasoning using your natural chattiness. Some successful negotiators believe that no is the beginning, not the end, of negotiations. Remember your goal is to listen, listen, listen and ask clarifying questions.
Brainstorm alternatives that are budget friendly yet save your profit margin. Don’t assume you know what will motivate a bride- ask. The best way to brainstorm is to first compile ideas (good or not) then evaluate them. You never know when a crazy idea will be the seed for a good one!
Here’s a sample conversation.
B: I’m not sure we can afford you. This is more than we wanted to spend.
WP: I understand that. I appreciate you telling me that. Seems like we click and I’d like to work with you? Is it ok if we look at the numbers and see what we can come up with? It’s really helpful to know your most realistic budg- et range.
B:We’re trying to stay around $11-15K.
WP: Ok, and what are you more interested in -- quality or price?
WedBiz Journal February 2011
B: Quality. We want a beautiful wedding everyone talks about for weeks.
WP: And when you say quality, what does that mean to you?
B: It means things look and feel luxurious, high end and unique.
WP: Nice. So, if I can give you what you want- a fabulous wedding that includes [add her desires from earlier] that makes your family and friends feel glamorous and luxurious, we can work together, right? Excellent!
Let’s look at my packages again to see where we can make adjustments. (By adjustments, I mean adding small concessions that are low/no cost to you but can be perceived as adding value to your bride)
Why This Works This conversation works because it’s transparent and informative. In the first sentence, you are acknowledging your bride’s feelings and the fact she may be nervous, too. What a nice way to show you’re on the same side, not adversaries.
Next, you ask for specifics while explaining why you need accurate numbers. Nobody likes to be ‘taken’. Asking for her budget tells her that you’re not pulling numbers out of the air, you’re open to some flexibility and it increases trust.
Then you reframe the discussion into something more comfortable. Once you know the budget you can explain your packages and jointly decide which one fits best. Nothing pushy--just new friends brainstorming how to make things work. Something you’ve done hundreds of times with your own family and friends in your every-day life, right?
Practice
Now, that you understand why negotiation can be diffi- cult and you have a new approach, it’s time to practice, practice and practice. I’ll share more negotiating tips and insights in future columns.
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