8


GAY SAN DIEGO


August 13-August 26, 2010


COMMUNITY VOICES


Today’s children will fight tomor- row’s battle for LGBT equality


their age. The study showed no significant differences in social adjustment, although the children in the study were less likely to behave poorly in school. Even the tongue in cheek


PARENTHQOD TERESE FARMEN


Proponents of Proposition 8


argue that marriage should be de- nied to same-sex couples because they are not able to biologically procreate with one another. Ac- cording to a June 16 Los Angeles Times article, their attorney, Charles Cooper, in his closing argument against the people’s lawsuit to overturn Prop. 8, stated that marriage is a means to “channel” sexual behavior into a “stable, marital union” and should therefore be denied to gays. The expert witness for the defense of Prop. 8 argued that gay parents are more likely to sexually abuse their children and raise maladjusted children who turn out to be gay themselves. The prosecution demon-


strated through witnesses and testimony that there is no validity to their argument and that gays are not more likely to molest children. Witnesses also showed through research and stud- ies conducted over the last 20 years that there is no significant difference in behavior or social adjustment between the children of same-sex and opposite-sex couples. A more recent study, pub- lished in the journal Pediatrics by Nanette Gartrell and Henry Bos, shows that children raised in lesbian households scored higher on psychological exams in self-esteem and did better academically than other children


While it may seem positive and ex- citing that our children have the self-esteem to stand up for what they believe in … there’s a flip side to this coin—the Prop. 8 supporters also have children.


Diegans took to the streets, marching more than a mile through downtown to the County Administration building in protest of the law that made marriage illegal for same-sex couples, just as they took to the streets of Hill- crest this month when that law was deemed unconstitutional. My daughter, stationed on the shoulders of my domestic part- ner, was among the protestors during the 2008 march, leading the chant for a good quarter mile. The allies marching with us were loud, rowdy and in good spirits while this adorable toddler kept shouting over and over, “2-4-6-8, marriage for gay and straight.” I don’t think I can fully take the blame for her allegiance to the gay community. I am guilty for explaining that the people of California voted to take marriage away from lesbians and gays. Her eyes grew wide and her cheeks burned red. She didn’t think it was right. I didn’t have to explain why or try to convince her. She


Perfect Payroll


Fortunate Fields, Inc. offers a wide variety of accounting, tax, and business services.


• Payroll made painless • Easy to use


Payroll as low as $60/mo.


• Guaranteed accurate wage and tax calculations


Locally owned and operated since 2006 More economical than the big payroll companies


Free inital consultation Call Dave Yoshida, EA (619) 220-0375


Fortunate Fields, Inc. 2720 5th Ave. (at Nutmeg) San Diego, CA 92103


Ben Orgovan (left), chair of this year’s South Bay Pride & Music Festival, with his father, Harry Orgovan, owner of Chula Vista Kayak and a mem- ber of the South Bay Alliance. (Courtesy Harry Orgovan)


While we might like to believe the kids of Proposition 8 support- ers are capable of making their own choices about what they believe is right or wrong, and that somehow their parents had forced them into hoisting those hateful picket signs, in truth, those children made choices based on the information they were given. The seeds of hate are generally sown early. It’s not to say these children won’t learn or be exposed to other opinions and become allies later on in life. However, it does mean that children of gay parents might be on the frontlines, leading them to this enlightened mindset. Somehow we have to arm them for this potential confronta- tion. We can’t do this by persuad- ing them to believe in our politics. We do this by loving them, building their self-esteem, expos- ing them to diversity and culture, language and experience. We do this by leading our lives, acting as positive role models and having our own self-esteem to stand up and face injustice head-on, with strength and determination. The only way to prepare them is to love them, be involved in their lives and lead our lives truthfully and with conviction. The rest will come naturally.


—Terese Farmen lives with her mind-blowingly smart, spunky, sparkly 6-year-old and her witty and wise life partner of many years. She is on vacation and wishes she could have been with everyone in San Diego when Judge Walker ruled in favor of equality, justice and common sense.


“Colbert Report” recently urged lesbians to stop raising such well- adjusted kids, as it was setting a “bad example” for how teens should behave. The infamously raucous character Sue Sylvester from TV’s “Glee” chimed in with her comment, “Gay parents encour- age rebellion, there’s studies on this” when the over-achieving, Broadway-bound daughter of two dads is caught red-handed mak- ing illegal photocopies from the cheerleading office. As a gay mom of a 6-year-old,


I have to admit there might be some truth to that. When Prop. 8 first passed, thousands of San


knew deep in her gut that it wasn’t fair. While I was kneeling on the


floor, drawing my protest sign, she grabbed some markers and asked me to write a slogan for her to carry as well. While it may seem positive and exciting that our children have the self-esteem to stand up for what they believe in and the confidence to express them- selves, there’s a flip side to this coin—the Prop. 8 supporters also have children. I remember driving by some of these families that were waving signs in support of the law. These children were not holding signs that said “Stop H8” or “Marriage is for Love.” Their signs read “Protect Our Children” or “Gays Are Gross.”


Those kids attend school with our children.


SOUTHERN EXPOSURE


Welcome to the second install- ment of Southern Exposure, bring- ing you the latest information and happenings from South County San Diego. This month I would like to start with a reminder that South County’s largest LGBT event of the year will soon be here! On Saturday, Aug. 21, Chula


Vista will celebrate its eighth an- nual South Bay Pride & Music Fes- itval at Memorial Park, from noon to 7 p.m. The event is free and open to the public. It will provide a full day of musical entertainment for adults, along with a wine and beer garden, vendor booths and delicious food. In addition, Family Matters, San Diego’s LGBT parent- ing group, will provide a “Chil- dren’s Garden” area to entertain all children in attendance. For more information, see page 5 or visit southbaypride.org. In addition to the South Bay


Pride & Music Festival, there are many great people in the South Bay and great things happening here. In my next several columns, I want to highlight a few of the individuals and organizations that are having an impact on South Bay’s LGBT com- munity, working to bridge the gap between gay and straight. The first person I would like


to introduce you to had very personal reasons for joining the South Bay Alliance, South Bay’s group for LGBT people and their allies. Though he joined to support his gay son, he received an extra bonus, in that he was also able to promote his business, making his membership a win-win.


www.gay-sd.com


South Bay father sees diversity in nature and people


Meet Harry Orgovan. Mr. MARCI BAIR


Orgovan has been a resident of Chula Vista for the majority of his 57 years. He still lives in the house he grew up in, which his parents bought in 1941 for—if you can believe this—just under $8,000. Harry has two children: his daughter, Megan, and his son, Ben. He also has three grand- children, ranging in age from 8 months to 6 years. Harry learned about the South Bay Alliance through an e-mail that the Chula Vista Cham- ber of Commerce sent to all its members, advertising a mixer the South Bay Alliance was holding. He asked Ben, who is openly gay, if he had heard of the South Bay Alliance and Ben said he hadn’t. This e-mail served as a great introduction to the South Bay Alliance for Ben, who has since become a wonderful addition to our board of directors and9 is serving as chair of this


year’s South Bay Pride event. Harry is a well-known business owner in Chula Vista. He started Chula Vista Kayak in 2008 and is very excited about the development of the Chula Vista bayfront, plans for which include a convention cen- ter, hotels and restaurants. Harry knows his business, which offers aqua exploration of south San Diego Bay and the San Diego Wildlife Ref- uge, will benefit greatly from this proposed bay-front expansion. He also said his business has brought him closer to nature and the diverse and unique wildlife in his own back yard. His excursions have helped him see how, just as in nature, we are all different and unique—and that it is this diversity that makes a community great. “When you look at nature,


there’s more than meets the eye,” Harry said. “Life is much more diverse and, in a sense, compli- cated (then we realize). We can understand in-depth the different animals and their specialties and how each one of them has some- thing to offer which may not be noticeable at first glance.” Harry said he is very proud of his son, and sees him as part of a movement to bring about an un- derstanding that we are all equal and deserving of the same rights and respect. Just as Chula Vista has changed a lot over the years, Harry said he also has changed. “We’re all raised in our own lit- tle world as we grow and (then) we


see Southern, pg 21


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24