www.gay-sd.com DUGOUT CHATTER with Jeff Praught


COACH Why I


winning have always driven me. With some exceptions, this mo- dus operandi has served me well in life—especially in sports. I’ve played everything from competitive football, baseball and golf, to recreational leagues in basketball, volleyball, hockey, ultimate Frisbee and softball. In the past my teams were always built with winning in mind. We weren’t there just for the fun of it. We were out there to win—and win convincingly. That’s all we knew in our twenties. But at age 28, I turned to the America’s Finest City Softball League (AFCSL), San Diego’s LGBT league, and discovered a side of sports I never really knew: you could play for the fun of it and not lose out on the experience. Playing in the AFCSL has been


I


a great way to meet people outside of the bars, and the on-field stories we share after games are usually priceless. The rewards of being a player in the AFCSL are obvious, but two years ago is when I really tapped into the league’s potential for fulfillment. I decided to get into coaching.


Let me explain by first point- ing out the difference between coaching and managing. I’ve played on dozens of successful teams (mostly straight), and been the manager of those teams more often than not. The manager writes the lineups, recruits the guys, juggles personalities and makes in-game decisions. Managing a team is a vital


role, partly because it takes cerebral ability, and partly because nobody else wants to do the extra leg work. Manag- ers organize fundraisers, get to fields early to make sure the team can practice, take and make phone calls to ensure at- tendance at games, arrange the design and purchase of jerseys, fill out lineups, attend league meetings and do countless other chores that most people don’t think about. It can be a thankless job—especially when the team loses and you feel the burden of every teammate’s happiness weighing down on your shoulders. The real reward is in coaching. In the fall of 2008, my good friend Roman Jimenez and I agreed to put a D team together because we wanted to teach beginners. Neither of us knew if our rag tag group of guys would win a game, but that was not our immediate goal. My first priority was to find a


am as competitive of a person as anyone I know. Be it cards, debates, work or sports, being the best and


way to take guys who were com- ing from vastly different sports backgrounds, and prove to them that they didn’t need to be ath- letic and coordinated to become accomplished players. Some guys had suffered from the “last guy picked” syndrome in elementary school because they had no ath- letic ability, scarring their minds and rendering sports an impos- sibility. Then there were the gym rat guys who could stop a crowd in a dance club while shirtless, but put a bat in their hand and a cabaret would break out. The common theme was


confidence, and most of the guys lacked it. Coaching, to me, is find- ing the key inside everyone to unlock that confidence. Everyone is different. Some people need to be barked at, while others need a calm talk and maybe an arm around their shoulder during what I call “teaching moments.” The path to unlocking that


confidence in our guys was rocky. Whether it was teaching a guy where first base was, or how to grip a ball, or getting the guy who had swung and missed 45 times in a row to realize that he could actually hit the ball on the 46th try, the chore was difficult. But the competitive nature in me demanded that I believe we could help these guys. There is no such thing as a lost cause. Anyone can be successful in softball. I followed three key rules: 1) Success has many definitions. 2) Never put new players in positions where they will embarrass them- selves. 3) Maximize the opportu- nities to put players in positions to succeed. Learning a person’s psyche is every bit as important as determining what he or she can and cannot do physically. Coaching only takes you so


far. Ultimately, your managerial record depends upon the talents of the players you coach. Without talented players, and players who buy into what you’re saying, even the best coaching can go wasted. The success of the team I co-man- age, Baja Betty’s, is mostly a testa- ment to the fact that we’re a family full of guys who have checked their egos at the door, improving all the while. Not everyone on the team is a star. But every single member has contributed to the success of Betty’s.


And when a coach sees his pu- pil—the same guy who swung and missed 45 times in a row or the guy who used to scream in fright when the ball came close—get that first hit or make those steady


plays, therein lies the reward. Like a father and his kid,


coaching has given me the chance to play a little part in making guys, young and old, feel like contributing athletes. And that gives me more pleasure than anything I could do on the field as a player.


(top) 60-year-old John Thorley is the senior member of the two-time champion Baja Betty’s softball team (Courtesy Tamara Hann)


(right) Luis Perez races home to score in a game against Redwing (Courtesy michaelbrianstudios.com)


SPORTS


August 13-August 26, 2010 GAY SAN DIEGO


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