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GAY SAN DIEGO


August 13-August 26, 2010


COMMUNITY VOICES


CLOSET TO SPOTLIGHT


Illustration by Tony Gleeson O


ne of my favorite gigs is singing at weddings. I love to sing Etta James’ “At Last” and Nate King Cole’s


“I Love You for Sentimental Rea- sons,” and can barely control my tears when committed people state their intentions at the altar. I have


sung at thousands of weddings— by far the most moving experienc- es are the same-sex commitment ceremonies I have done. There is something so incred- ibly courageous about a same-sex couple declaring their commit- ment and love to each other in front of a room of teary-eyed people. I cry especially hard at these ceremonies because I know the prejudice and scorn they may face in the world. Their lives could become complicated, should they decide to adopt chil- dren, be hospitalized, apply for spousal health benefits, borrow money together or even fill out a census form. My lesbian aunt from Wisconsin lived her whole life in shame—admonishing me for addressing correspondence to her and her partner of more than 30 years. She yelled at me, ex- plaining that she didn’t want her postal worker to know that she and my Aunt Pat were a couple. I weathered her angry phone message when I dared send her a postcard from Paris, adorned with a scantily clad female couple. My aunt died last month and will never be able to kiss her partner in the sunshine or enjoy the right


to love or marry whomever she wishes, without shame.


www.gay-sd.com


The Wedding Singer: saluting the courage of same-sex couples CANDYE KANE


So it’s an especially poignant triumph this week, and a salute to the bravery of same-sex couples, that Governor Schwarzeneg- ger and Attorney General Jerry Brown have filed legal motions to allow same-sex marriages to resume in California immediately. Bravo to our Republican gover- nor (with whom I rarely agree) for speaking out on the right—as opposed to right-wing—side of the same-sex marriage issue. As a longtime sexual libertine,


I am not sure monogamy is more than a culturally imposed notion. There are not many mammalian species that mate for life, and personally, I feel like monogamy is the most radical lifestyle I’ve ever engaged in. Yet everyone deserves the right to be miser- able, and I have blogged in the past about changing our tax laws to ease the discrimination that same-sex couples face. If we cannot marry whom we want—if we are to continue being denied equal rights and protection under the law, then we shouldn’t have to pay the same taxes as citizens who are “created equal” under the law.


It seems to me that marriage, regard- less of the couple’s gender, would per- petuate morality and monogamy— both of which seem to be decidedly Christian values.


I have constantly been astonished at the opponents of same-sex marriage and the pruri- ent curiosity of the religious right who feel like their heterosexual marriages are somehow threat- ened by a same-sex couples’ desire to commit. Shouldn’t the religious right be championing same-sex marriage as a way to stop the immorality of multiple partners and the subsequent, as- sumed spread of STDs? It seems to me that marriage, regardless of the couple’s gender, would perpetuate morality and monog- amy—both of which seem to be decidedly Christian values. In my travels around the world, I often meet and be- friend beautiful couples living in committed relationships while waiting for their state or country to legalize same-sex marriage. It is ironic to be a born and bred


FROM PAGE 2 STARLIGHT


she said, that the Starlight Theatre’s renovation needs were identified. In April, volunteers tore out,


repainted and reinstalled 3,500 seats, painted the theatre’s backstage area, and cleared out general rubbish and old set parts. That task, said Lorenzen, was


no small undertaking. “At the end of the theatre’s season, money is generally slim and sometimes these types of proj- ects are just too big for the small staff we have at that time,” he said. “Had this been a project we would have bid out, it likely would have cost in excess of $100,000 after supplies and labor costs.” But while some in the commu-


Californian, with our liberal reputation on so many issues, and yet still be behind Iowa and New Hampshire on the same-sex mar- riage issue. (Currently, same-sex couples can legally wed only in Iowa, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Washington, D.C.) For once, I stand behind Gov.


Schwarzenegger and hope his legal motion passes, opening the door to equal rights for same-sex couples in California and beyond. Monogamy and marriage may be radical ideas (in this writer’s eyes) but radical ideas should be accessible to everyone regardless of gender, ethnicity, age or sexual orientation. Don’t forget to hire me to sing a love song at your legal,


nity are calling for a boycott, not everyone agrees. Nicole Murray- Ramirez, a well known local LGBT activist and founder of San Diego Pride, feels the negative attention is unwarranted. “Economic times are tight


right now, and the arts are espe- cially being impacted,” Murray- Ramirez said. “As long as they weren’t coming in to discuss reli- gion I don’t see what the problem is. Years ago, the U.S. Marines wouldn’t accept donations from the gay community for their Toys for Tots program, specifically because they came from the gay community. I thought that was ri- diculous—and this is pretty much the same thing.” Ken Aylsworth purchased sea-


son tickets to the Starlight Theatre three years ago and attended the company’s recent production of “Suds.” He said the service the Rock Church provided the aging,


same-sex California wedding in the very near future. And make sure to provide me with plenty of Kleenex!


Big love and gratitude, Candye


— Bedecked in bright colored feathers, sequins and rhinestones, Candye Kane’s performance is Mississippi by way of Las Vegas with a quick stopover in San Francisco. She has recorded 10 CDs and been included in count- less blues and jazz anthologies. She was nominated this year for three National Blues Foundation awards and has won Best Blues Artist nine times at the San Diego Music Awards. Visit candyekane. com or myspace.com/candyekane- band.com.


cash-strapped theater outweighs his concerns about the church’s involvement in Prop. 8. “I’m more inclined to over- look the views of an organization that’s doing charitable work,” Aylsworth said. “It’s not ideal, but I think the benefit to the Starlight outweighs it. I’d be really op- posed to it if they gave them free advertising in the playbills.” Although the theater has been accused of toning down donations to LGBT organizations as a nod to the church, this is an accusation Lorenzen adamantly denies. “We frequently receive re-


quests to donate tickets for galas and fundraisers, and we do our best to honor those requests as best we can,” he said. “This year we worked very closely with Pride, offering ticket trade and discounts to those involved with Pride, which allowed us to receive booth partici- pation at the festival.”


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